galentine's day 2k18

galentine's day has always been one of my favorite holidays, i'll even say it, my FAVORITE holiday. before parks & rec, valentine's day took top tier but i've got to say, i love the idea of LOVE and celebrating female friendships. two of my favorite things! leslie knope has given the world many a wonderful things but this has got to be my favorite, next to TREAT YO'SELF!*

anyways so this year i wanted to go big and not go home. i have been to two spas in my lifetime** and loved the experience so i thought it would be fun with my gals. the thing is, you really have to carve out some time. like a LOT of time. like 6-10 hours. i'm not kidding. spas are fantastic because the purpose of them is to be naked, wet, and relax- my three favorite things!! i love swimming, especially without kids. i love hot tubs. i love just laying around reading and eating. i love working out. if only they had better snacks...

i invited my best gals and a good mix were able to come. those near and far from me received their SWAG bags and love notes. thankfully target's dollar section this year was right on point. seriously, galentine's day has hit mainstream which is super cool! but then at the same time not so cool because then it looses it's specialness. just know that i'm the one who started it. or at least improved it. ok i just continued it's existence in an inferior way.

we picked the JW marriott because it's fairly close to us and it was off-strip [aka cheaper]. icing on the cake was there was a groupon for it. one of my yw is doing her senior year online so she was down for babysitting mine and a friend's kids. we were gone for 6 hours and it was not nearly long enough. after checking in, we got naked and hung out in our robes waiting for our treatments. the massage was great but the image of me in a thin white robe was not quite as wonderful. after changing into my swimsuit for the first time in 2018, we jumped headfirst into the amenities. i had just finished reading a book about the ancient roman culture*** so it was fun to somewhat to pretend i was at the roman baths, minus the prostitutes [well, at least a whole lot less of them]. we hung out at the pools until everyone was done with their services then hit the buffet for lunch. girl talk and a lot of calories later, we went back to the pools for some communal fluid sharing and gossip. before i knew it, it was time to shower and pick up the kids.

we had such a great time and thankfully, the groupon we got had two return vouchers with it. so i GUESS i'll have to return there again. poor me. whose coming with me?

*although that's technically tom & donna's contribution.
**the first time was for my company's christmas party because there was only 3 of us in the office. that boss is my FIL's girlfriend. it still remains the best spa i've ever been to. the second was with my BF kayla when she was engaged.
*** a voice in the wind, which i reviewed here.

new phone, who dis?

as my sister so pointed out so kindly, I* have been greatly missed in the blogging sphere**. well no more tears my friends, I am still here; busier and fatter then ever! honestly, the reason I don't write anymore is because I only have a finite amount of computer time at night [after the kids are in bed, during our Netflix time, and before bedtime] and I'm usually writing lesson plans during that time. not fun stuff but it's necessary.

so what have I been up to? I honestly have no idea. living? breathing? surviving? that all seems quite right. here's a quick update on us [not the Christmas card edition; that business goes out to Justin's colleagues].

Justin was pretty sick the last few months of the year and took a lot of time off work [insert enthusiasm here]. because of that, a lot of house projects [aka my grass] has been on hold. however he still managed to make me a bookcases so I forgive him for being sick. he's been on a lego-craze along with my boys and bought a billion [no exaggeration] mini-figures from china so that's been fun.

Landon, my firstborn in the wilderness, has turned on me and become quite the little ....poop word... I just don't understand him sometimes. he wants my physical affection but when I give it him, he usually will bite/pinch/hit/tongue [yes, tongue] me. like, whats the dealio? when I was complaining to Justin about this, he said 'that's just boy love' and honestly that was the wisest thing Justin has ever said. I never realized that before but it's so true. he still needs me but like a typical boy, can't just give me a sweet hug. he's also been a bit of a brat with tablet time, homework, music classes. my friend said first grade is a growing year and her boys struggled then too. everything is just a fight! he used to be so obedient and helpful; now he lies and threatens to punch everyone.

porter is turning 4 next week and I'm hoping this will be the end of his growing year. that kid, he sure is exhausting. physically. he has some temper problems and can't control his emotions very well. that being said, he's also very physically needy and needs snuggles all. the. time. [which is wonderful and terrible at the same time]. I've been pleasantly surprised to see how much he's learned academically this year [he's better then some of the older kids in his class] but having me as a teacher has been rough on him. hopefully next year with a neutral teacher, he'll do better. sharing is not his strong suit. he's really taken to power like Darth Vader did. "the birthday boy gets to go first!" or "it's my special toy and I don't have to share" or "if you don't give me candy, I'll tell on you to daddy". dude, calm down.

griffin, my golden child, has gotten a bit tarnished in the past year. he's starting to realize he's spoiled more so... that's been great. it's been fun seeing his personality grow and how he interacts with his brothers and other people. he's a pretty easy kid right now [knock on wood]. I'm thinking I'll let him come to my preschool next year [to avoid babysitting charges to help him grow academically].

and me? last year was a hard year. I went off my crazy pills in anticipation of getting pregnant and despite my mother in laws rumors, I am not. that plus my school and Justin's medical needs, I've gained 30lbs. so I wear a lot of leggings and stretchy pants. I'm committed to changing my eating habits this year and I've done pretty good so far. I'm back on crazy pills [that I can take while I'm pregnant] but it's not my preferred drug so I've had some not fun side effects. I got called to young woman and I honestly don't know why. the president doesn't like me [like, openly critical of me in front of the girls] but at least the girls do. I don't feel like I'm the typical YWs leader because I don't want to lie. I am who I am. it took me long enough to accept that and I'm not going to change that for anyone. that doesn't mean I can't be an example to teenaged girls. still though, the constant meetings is a bit rough but I've survived. I cannot say the same thing about girls camp. let's just pray I'm pregnant by then and can get out of it. I still love school but it was nice having a break during Christmas. my only qualm about school is that I still don't have grass and dirt is just miserable in my house.

whew! are you sick of my complaining yet? the other day I saw something like this on instagram. that hit home. my life isn't perfect and nobodies life is. it's still pretty fantastic though. I married the man of my dreams. I have three healthy and handsome guys. I live in a giant house that I love [even if I don't have grass]. I have two jobs that make me feel fulfilled and busy. I am healthy. I have a relationship with my Heavenly Father. I have friends who'll workout with me then be up for donuts after. I have family who would do anything for me. that's pretty fan-freakin-tastic.

that being said, I really wouldn't turn down some grass***.

*I recently found out that young people turned off their auto-capitalization on their phone because it's the cool thing to do. so basically I started a trend.
**excuse some of the capitalization. I have a new computer and it automatically fixes those kinds of things. doesn't it know I have a reputation to uphold on my blog?
***real grass. like in the ground. not marijuana.

living the dream

*why oh why do i get my best blog post ideas while i'm laying in bed at night? i know it's because my body is settling down and can process my thoughts/feelings from the day but still. i like to go to bed early. stop giving me inspiration at 11pm!

what do you want to be when you grow up? it's a common question we ask young kids all the way through adulthood. i wanted to be a rodeo singing cowgirl whose horse played soccer, all while managing my 7-11s via a headset. justin wanted to a beach bum in hawaii. landon wants to be an army man and porter told me he wants to be a police. it's funny how when you're younger, you think you'll just be that ONE thing for the rest of your life. i guess some people are. some people have a dream early on, pursue it, achieve it, and maintain it, but i don't think that's the norm.

i never thought of myself becoming a mom. i guess i knew i would be one but i never liked kids, only my nieces/nephews [for the record, i still don't love kids. well, i don't love ON kids. i love teaching and interacting with them, but i wouldn't say i'm a kid person]. my new calling at church is to work with the oldest young women, so juniors and seniors in high school. these girls are on the precipice of life, looking ahead to their future and planning on how they're going to achieve it. some of them have ideas, most don't have a clue where they'll end up.

when i started college, i didn't have a clue. i knew i loved writing, the human anatomy [insert penis joke here], and coaching- i love coaching. when i transferred to SUU, i was set on what i wanted to pursue. a coaching degree. not the most solid plan in the history of education but definitely not the worst. i was a super star student. i got things done on time and got them right. i studied and i excelled, but somehow i didn't logically think it out. while i love my degree in exercise science, it's worthless. i thought about going to physical therapy school but i wasn't really interested in that. justin was coming home from his mission- i wanted to get my MRS degree. and that i did.

at this point in my life, i knew i needed to do something else to fall back on so i toyed with getting my teaching license [still am]. then the babies started coming and the mortgages and  what i wanted to be and who i became were different. my dream was no longer to be a rodeo star or coach lacrosse, i wanted to be a mom. a GREAT mom. and i did.

i guess what i'm trying to get at is 'the dream' we all talk about and pursue, we never really talk about how it changes and evolves into different things. and i do think i'm living the dream. i love my life and i wouldn't change anything [ok, maybe a few things]. so who did i grow up to be? a mom of 3. a preschool teacher. a wife. a soccer coach. a youth leader. a party planner. a short order [and terrible] cook. it wasn't what i dream of but it really is THE DREAM.

i wonder what i'll grow up to be in 10-15-20 years. right now i would say i want to be exactly what i am now but that most likely won't be the case. i want to be with my family and friends. i want to be happy and make other people happy. and that's enough.

although i am still eyeing a 7-11 franchise ownership, in case you were wondering.

a new purpose

dear blog,

i'm sorrry i've neglected you. it's been a month - over a month actually. how in the world have i let my most prized possession go to the wayside? well, a combination of things really.

my husband is gone. all the time. and when he is home, it's harder in different ways. this time, session has been harder on him [whereas last session i was the one hobbling along] and porter especially. he is such a daddy's boy and justin is such a porter's boy. still though, a missing husband means i've taken up more duties while justin has to work more hours. it's not fair on either one of us but it's how it is. you know how when you lie in bed at night, you can just talk to your spouse about any and everything that crosses your mind and you feel 100% connected? we have the opposite of that. facetiming a few minutes at the end of long, stressful days for both of us has taken a toll on our relationship and our family. only a few more months to go! you'd think after years of being together and so much time spent apart, we'd know how to do a long distance relationship but sadly, no. it's still the worst thing in the world.

and then there's my depression. i've had good days, better days, and then some terrible no good days. i'm on some new drugs that help me in some ways and i'm grateful for that. thankfully i've had more and more good days lately. that's another reason why i've been MIA - a good reason.

i have found a purpose. i know, how crazy does that sound? i love being a mother. it is MY purpose. it's why i wake up and when i'm not doing it, i am missing it all. still though, i need more. i've wanted more but had no idea what. i've thought of things, pondered and prayed, searched and researched; still nothing. then in a moment of need, an idea came to me.

that seed was planted and it grew. then i got excited and started looking into it. and then i found myself excited and planning. i talked to some people and they encouraged me. i made plans. i talked to my husband. i made up a flyer and it was done.

i'm running a summer camp. and then i'm teaching preschool. well... i hope to at least.

i recently started coaching landon's soccer team. i've coached several times in the past and i realized that is when i am the happiest. i love coaching! that's why i chose to study exercise science in college. i have always wanted to coach and now i was doing it. and i'll get a whopping $40 for the whole 4 months. yipee! i couldn't figure out how i could make money coaching and stay at home with my kids. then my favorite summer preschool teacher got pregnant and couldn't teach the summer. i thought of doing a co-op with friends but honestly, i don't trust people to do it at the caliber i'd do it at [snotty much??]. that's when it hit me. i could do a summer camp. i could make money doing it. i could teach preschool. i could do it for several years and still be there for my kids.

i've always loved teaching my kids. it's something i've got a natural talent for. i've never been a huge fan of kids though. honestly the thought of babysitting for people makes me anxious and very depressed. but i constantly offer to do it for my friends and once i get through it, i realize it's not as bad as i thought. but i love my kids. so so much. and coaching kids? i love that! teaching kids in primary? so much fun! babysitting? no way jose! i honestly can't see the difference between it all but that's how it is.

i'm terrified. not that i can't do it. i KNOW i can do it. and i KNOW i can do it well. but i don't have a teaching degree. i don't have a license. i don't have grass. how am i going to do this? thankfully i have an amazing kindergarten teacher who is a wonderful resource and huge help. i have a mother who taught for years and is the greatest teacher i know. i've been given things and bought educational tools for years. i KNOW how to talk and teach kids. i KNOW how to do this. but what i don't have is confidence. what if people don't sign up? what if they don't think i'm worth the money? what if they are disappointed in how i teach? what if they want someone with actual teaching experience? what if i really can't cut it? and what in the world do i do with griffin?

answers are coming. answers will keep coming. i trust in heavenly father and i feel like this is what i should be doing right now. so i guess only time will tell. either i'll be successful or a major disappointment. either way, things will be learned and i'll be better for it.

but please, don't ask me to babysit. i'll say yes but secretly hate it.

xoxo

what i want out of life

it's been a while since i've written just to write. believe me, i've had ideas. usually after 10:30pm when i'm laying in bed, i'll be thinking over my day and map out a post that i think people would like to read and i would like to write. and then i drift off into neverland until my middle child [who chronically smells like pee] climbs into bed and makes my right arm go numb from snuggling. #momproblems

a few days ago i celebrated galentine's day with my girlfriends. ladies celebrating ladies over [dessert] breakfast. we were tasked to share the story of one lady from history that did something amazing. a fashion designer, queen, prophet's wife, YW president, and first lady were discussed. during these conversations, one friend brought up the idea of writing one's own eulogy to figure out what you want to accomplish in life. to help you map out your goals and figure out what's the most important. she felt haunted by her lack of formal education until she realized that's not what she wanted to be known for. living a life of service was more important and needful for her situation. and let me tell you, she is doing that.

the next day, that same friend [who despite her lack of a degree is one of the most fascinating people to talk to. she thoroughly enjoys listening to TED talks or reading non-fiction. esp cleaning books but that part is annoying] sent me a talk she had seen floating around on facebook a while back ago. it's called 'keeping life's demands in balance' by m. russell ballard. in it, he talks about doing the important things and offers up some suggestions. he mentions the story of alma the younger. after having seen thousands of lamanites killed in battle, without knowing the gospel, he laments that he cannot be angel and speak the word of God like a trumpet [aka missionary work but in ultra high def]. he longed to be more then what he was. he wanted to go and do one thing but that wasn't in the plan. he says 'why should i desire more than to perform the work to which i have been called?" [alma 29:6]

like most women, i am constantly asking myself "am i enough?". i worry that i'm not doing this right and i'm never going to be like so-and-so. growing up i wanted to sing. and ride in the rodeo. and be a soccer star. and own 7-11s [some dreams never change]. i never quite figured out what i wanted to do professionally but i knew i wanted to be a mom. and here i am, a mom, and i still feel unsettled. but why? i'm living my dream, i'm doing what i'm meant to be doing but why am i questioning my worth? i'm not saying i'm done dreaming or accomplishing. one day i WILL figure out what i want to do and i do want to work again. but my #1 job right now is mom. some famous dead person i don't care about said that the worst thing you can do is get what you want. or something like that.

so here's my eugoogaly.

melissa michelle harrison [zobrist] died tragically saturday afternoon when a slurpee machine fell on top of her. heroically, she pushed little kids out of the way of the fall [while others reported she had cut in line]*. melissa was 82 years old and is survived by her four sons; landon of new york city, porter of his mother's basement, griffin of california, and jack of all trades. she is now happily reunited with her sweetheart of over a million years, justin, who tragically died at the age of 45 from an antelope stamped in the african safari with the love of his life, steven**. melissa lived a full life and accomplished much in her years on this earth. known for her love of music, she successfully taught her sons to sing and play the piano mediocrely. she loved reading young adult fiction, even though she was an old grandma; she still kicked it. she actively participated in her local YMCA fitness classes, even leading a group of widows on a mountain hike. melissa served in many positions during her membership of the church of jesus christ of latter-day saints. she was basically happy whenever she could boss people around and make her ideas the best ideas. tragically, melissa never did get grass in her front yard and will now be haunting her place of residence for the many years to come. in leiu of flowers, melissa requested that everyone mourn her for seven days while wearing all pink, taking long baths, and drinking a coke slurpee.

*other way i can conceivably see myself dying
1- diabetes from slurpees
2- baking accident from using too much baking powder
3- a monster lurking under my bed at night

**other ways that i can conceivably see justin dying
1- diabetes from fruit snacks
2- car accident while driving home from church on a fast sunday
3- heart attack from screaming at the kids to stop climbing on his couches

ok that was hilarious, am i right?? honestly, the article my friend mentioned to me didn't say to specifically write down a eulogy but just imagine what you'd want people to say/remember about you if you died today.

things i'd want people to say
- wow, that melissa sure knew how to party
- where's the slurpee machine? i heard there would be a slurpee machine here
- melissa was so pretty. and had the best rack.
- remember when melissa saved all those cats from the kitty pound? she was the mother teresa of felines
- how did she manage to dye her temple clothes pink? and where did all this glitter come from?

things i don't want people to say
- remember that time melissa peed in the bathroom sink? [i was a little kid!]
- wow, she was kind of selfish wasn't she?
- i knew one person couldn't eat that much sugar without consequences
- melissa was one gossipy gossiper. and have i told you her boobs weren't even real?
- even at melissa's last party, she didn't have enough forks. get it together or don't even try.

ok ok, i'm done. let's get serious. i want people to say i was kind. thoughtful. that i only had nice things to say about people [this one is seriously going to the biggest hurdle for me]. i want to be known for teaching my boys church songs. i want to have taught them the scriptures, how to love the temple, and to send them off to be honorable missionaries and come home to be loving and hardworking fathers. i want to serve in the temple and really, really understand it. i want to write and to be read. i want to laugh and be active and healthy. i want to eat and not be fat. i want to love justin better then anyone has ever loved someone before. i want to be well-read in church literature. i want to have a job and make money. i want to create things and throw parties for my friends. i want to have many friends and be surrounded by so many people. i want to travel- not super far or anywhere exotic. must speak english and have french fries. i want to be someone people come to for advice, someone people trust. i want to be the person who sends cards and gifts spontaneously. i want to live by the spirit and help people in need. i want to babysit my grandkids and spoil them rotten. i want to skinny dip at night and see all the beauty the world has to offer. i want to pray as long as my granddad hurst did and really mean it. i want to freely give hugs out as often as i give out cookies. and i want to go to hawaii. i want to live by my sisters and get old and cantankerous together. i want to learn how to forgive and forget. i want to be someone that gives and helps. i want to serve a mission and finally learn how to really do family history. i want to grow old with justin and still see that handsome sailor when i look at his wrinkly old face.

is that too much? well, considering i'm considered middle age by now, i better get to crack-a-lacking.

2016 - the year my hopes & dreams died

ugh, i guess now i have to face the music that my 2016 resolutions didn't go exactly as planned. i should really set the bar lower. like, hopping height low. that was my problems- i expected too much of myself. it didn't help that 2016 was basically the worst year ever. so i'm rewriting 2016 resolutions and i feel pretty good about them.



1- keep the kids alive. all 3 of them.
2 - help stimulate the economy by keeping kirkland's diapers in business
3 - save gas and go to the temple whenever your mom is in town. except when you guys are busy having fun.
4 - have a better marriage then you did at the beginning of 2016, even with the obvious absence of dates or couple home evening.
5 - run on the treadmill when you go to the gym, unless you're really tired, then you can go medium speed on the gazelle while you watch kimmel clips.
6 - listen to music daily. some of that can be piano music.
7 - try to do your mom's interview until life gets too hard. then just talk to her on the phone.
8 - read your own scriptures and try to read them with your kids. and give yourself a break.

sounds good right?

2016 started off with a tree falling on my house - literally. on my anniversary. that just kind of set the tone of the year. lots of awesome things happened too but it's kind of fun jumping on the 'hate 2016' bandwagon. there's just been a lot of car issues, medical issues, surgeries, setbacks, unmet expectations, and disappointments. that's life right? 2017 is going to be the year of melissa though! i can feel it! 2017 i'm getting back to basics

eat
pray
love

i'm going to eat better. i'm going to pray better. i'm going to love more. i'm going to read my scriptures, go to the temple; make my spirituality a priority. i'm going to eat better, eat less, and make some healthy body changes. i'm going to love myself, love my family, love my friends. i'm going to criticize less, be more forgiving, and love life.

and i really want to learn to write in calligraphy. STAY TUNED!

harrison christmas letter 2016

*excuse the proper capitalization. it was very painful to write.

2016 will go down in the book as THE WORST YEAR EVER! Just kidding... kind of. It was one of growing pains and lots of poopy pants.

Landon (5) started kindergarten at an arts focused charter school this year. We were really worried about him being the youngest in his class but he has really excelled. He is already starting to read and enjoys building/creating (our future engineer!). His favorite things include recess, lunch, theatre, and music. He is still playing baseball and loves being with friends. During the summer, Landon learned how to swim and is currently working on riding a bike without training wheels.

Porter (2) continues to be our sour patch kid! He has taken his job as the middle child quite seriously and makes it a point to make mommy work hard for her money. He loves going to storytime and music. Porter has started to take some mommy and me classes at the community center and is working on having a better attitude. He loves to learn, knows most of his colors, the alphabet song and counting. His favorite color is yellow and loves to eat treats. Potty training has proven to be the worst thing ever but we are hoping that we can be diaper-free for him by 2020.

Griffin (16 months) is a baby no longer. He is walking, climbing, and getting into everything. He loves to be outside and climb on the jungle gym. He also loves dog kisses, wandering off by himself, and balls. He is often neglected and loves attention from anyone. He most recently learned how to blow kisses, dance, and fold his arms to pray.

Melissa continues to serve as the main pooper picker upper and ch
ef to uneaten meals in the Harrison household. She is currently serving in the Primary, working with the Cub Scouts. This year she threw over a dozen parties, including her big Harry Potter 30th birthday. She enjoys long baths (alone), going to the gym (alone), and eating treats (alone).

Justin is still working for the Chamber of Commerce and is looking forward to going to Carson City for 5 months (alone). He recently went on a trip to Peru with his best friend (not Melissa) and surprisingly decided to come back. He is currently serving in Young Mens. He  doesn't enjoy people, places, or things. He most recently built us a gigantic dining room table but that's not an invitation for anyone to come visit.

Some notable events: Justin took the two big boys on their first camping trip to the Valley of fire. Justin & Melissa saw George Straight and Garth Brooks in concert. They also painted 85% of the walls in the house. Justin & Melissa escaped parenthood and enjoyed several days of sleeping in and eating warm food in sunny Florida. Justin took the big boys to their first UNLV football game and instantly regretted it.

Farewell 2016! We will not miss you at all.
Love,
The Harrisons

30 before 30

like most people anticipating a big birthday celebration, i started to panic a few months ago about my age. how in the world did i get so old?! where did the time go? i'm pretty sure i'm still 17. caitlin's post around her birthday made me think about what i wanted to do in the 6 months i had left and i'm happy to say i've done a bunch! most of the big stuff didn't happen but the little stuff did. and life is made up of the small moments anyways.

a lot of this stuff i have already done but wanted to do again or differently. as you can see, it didn't even get halfway completed. that's ok- now i have something to life for in my 30s!

1 - sky dive
i went indoor skydiving once and it was so much fun! when my brother went for his 21st birthday, i tried to go too but i was too young. i wish i had that problem now!
2 - fit into my wedding dress again
when i went with my BF kayla wedding dress shopping i tried on my dress. i'm 10lbs heavier then i was when i got married but the dress just wouldn't zip over my ribs/boobs. my friends and i are determined to have a wedding dress party a la 'friends' one of these days.
3 - go to the drive ins for a date night [like we did in HS when we had our first kiss]
4 - back up and organize my digital photos
this was fairly easy for me to complete. we already had a back up system in place but i didn't really have my pictures organized. that took some time! it was fun to look through old memories and also see where i've got some digital pictures missing.
5 - start my retirement account
6 - take my kids to the beach
7 - run a 10k
8 - rewatch the harry potter and twilight movies
i haven't quite finished these because so many good shows in the fall started! i've got 3 more harry potters and 2 more twilights. i can do it! 
9 - go rock climbing
10 - karaoke
i am the karaoke queen! sadly i haven't done it in years. girls night?
11 - learn the 'single ladies' dance
12 - do a crossword puzzle by myself
this came after i did one while flying to florida. it was fun challenging my brain in that way. i downloaded an app and played the games pretty fiercely for a few weeks. then it tapered off. still though - it was good while it lasted
13 - make a decadent chocolate cake
did this for my birthday! so delicious!
14 - throw a surprise party
this year i have thrown SO many parties! not one of them was a surprise. i thought about doing a surprise baby shower for one person but it wouldn't work out logistically. but it's still on my bucket list. parties i've thrown this year: porter's 2nd construction party, coordinate 2 t-ball parties at cici's, countless swim parties, helped with lynsey's baby shower, zobrist reunion, summer scavenger & olympic parties, griffin's lame 1st birthday, ali & selene's baby showers, landon's awesome olympic party, my awesome harry potter party, co-host halloween party, and upcoming kayla's bachelorette and bridal shower. i'm the party queen!
15 - go to the linq and try sprinkle's cupcake ATM
shortly after i made this list, justin came home with a dozen sprinkle cupcakes. that's $36! they just became members of the chamber so they gave out free cupcakes and i got to try almost every flavor.... bit of a let down. i think half the flavor comes from the exclusivity of not being able to eat so many because they're so expensive. still haven't made it to the linq but i will!
16 - visit crystal palace skating rink
17 - create a time capsule
one week for family home evening, we had a lesson about family history and made a time capsule. it wasn't anything fancy. just a few pictures and printables we completed that give a snapshot to our time right now. pretty fun.
18 - see a play
not that this is exciting but i took the kids to see "wizard of oz" at the library. not exactly what i wanted but justin doesn't like the theatre and it's quite expensive. plus we don't have babysitters. 
19 - sleep outside with the kids
during the summer, i took the kids up to visit my parents in northern utah. i figured this would be a perfect time to sleep outside. and it was just as miserable as i expected it to be! it was chilly, the train came by my parent's house several times a night [which last about 10 minutes per visit], the wind was blowing hard and no one got a good night's rest. but i did it!
20 - go on ellen
21- go without technology for a day - at home
i really have no excuses on why i haven't done this yet. i realize i am so much happier and productive when i don't have screen time but it's just so hard to do when you're alone most of the time.
22- take professional pictures
done! my friend megan took our family ones a week before justin left for south america.
23 - eat seafood
24 - play lasertag
funny story- i mentioned laser tag to my sister with landon in the car and since then he's been obsessed. he wants to know all the rules, how to play, watch youtube videos. all he wants in his life is to play laser tag.
25 - try an exotic fruit
26 - have an awesome harry potter birthday party
done and DONE!
27 - surprise my BFs with a gift
this was something i've tried to do all year long. with my sisters it was easy since we do a summer package exchange during the summer or i saw them. i can't remember most of them but here's what i remember. shannon i got her a rainbow brite snuggy, anna got my pregnancy clothes and chocolates. devin got a water bottle. caitlin got a harry potter coloring book. holly got a pioneer woman cookbook. my mom got a sign that says 'home is where your mom is'. i found that one in the clearance section at deseret book and had a full on break down there. kayla was easy and more spoiled because she's getting married. she got a bride shirt, a countdown calendar, and some other wedding stuff. meghan is the hard one. i'm still trying to come up for the perfect gift for her.
28 - co-host a dinner party
meghan got the idea that she wanted to host a dinner party and so i suggested we just do it for my birthday party. she held a practice one where our kids were invited and it was chaos. 
29 - finish my book
i never got around to doing this and then i realized my idea has already come to fruition at deseret book. although my book would have been much better and prettier. maybe one day.
30 - do a pinterest project from every one of my boards
this was fun to do! some boards i don't really use often and others i use all the time. some things i did: created a road trip scavenger hunt for my kids, did a harry potter and olympic's party, washed my pillows, did a pioneer sharing time, threw an awesome bridal shower, made a wedding binder for kayla, slept outside with the kids; to name a few.

my twenties in a nutshell

where in the world did my 20's go? for serious, it was just yesterday i was a teenager. now i'm in my 30s. like a grown up. like responsible and stuff. what? that's insane. what in the world have i done with ten years of my life? where did the time go? i still feel like a young 24 year old. mid-twenties. that was a good age. did you know that lorelei gilmore is 32 when gilmore girls started? that's two years away from right now! i am almost as old as lorelei!

so here's my attempt to condense ten years of my life.

20 - finished my second year of college at UNLV. justin got his mission call to uruguay. i left for college at SUU and met some amazing friends. got called to be relief society president, which really changed the way i lead.

21 - learned how to french braid. my BF kayla flew into cedar city to celebrate the big 2-1 with me. experienced my first snowy winter. stared in the awesomest video for church. graduated institute. had the most memorable college memories with my awesome roomies.

22 - performed lip sync and ROCKED it. presented my UGRAD research project. threw an awesome bachelorette party for my BF kitty cait. graduated college suma cum laude! went on a church history tour with my sister and mother. welcomed my sailor home from his mission. got engaged!

23 - spent my birthday stuffing wedding invitations! got MARRIED! got our first apartment and made our first married friends. hosted many game nights. visited mexico, costa rica & panama. made my stage debut as madonna. met my BF meghan and swam with a dead bird.

24 - meghan threw me a bombtastic surprise birthday party, complete with a pinata! i got knocked up in mexico. moved to carson city and was sick and unemployed. justin completed his internship. moved into my friend's apt. moved into in-laws house. moved into my mom's house. had a baby. bought a house!

25 - dealt with a cranky baby. grandma hurst died. learned how to be a mom. justin got a new job. justin graduated UNLV. justin got another new job. became a full-time stay at home mom. made some awesome mom friends. celebrated landon's 1st birthday. travelled to san francisco and the CA coast.

26 - learned how to deal with a toddler. moved to carson city. found joy and lonliness in the snow. visited sacramento. saw lake tahoe. got pregnant. went on a babymoon with holly & nate. lynsey got married. finally got a backyard - with grass!

27 - after christmas my pooh bear was born! we got new floors [in our old house]. we went to utah. porter had surgery. our garden flourished. landon took a summer class. we did more house projects. i learned how to can. went to utah again. did more house projects. went to disneyland.

28 - went to florida - with kids! porter had his first birthday - which was overshadowed by griffin's pregnancy announcement. justin got a new job and then went off to carson alone. we went to arizona. landon completed his first year of prek and swim lessons. we visited disneyland. landon learned how to ride a bike. we sold our house. we bought a house. we had a third baby. landon started his last year of prek and started tball.

29 - we worked on our money pit. i tried to survive 3 kids and became regularly medicated. i got called to the primary presidency and once again, it's helped me grow in new ways. we had a tree fall on our house. i moved my mom out of her house. i saw a lot of concerts and painted a lot of walls. landon graduated prek and became a pro swimmer. justin and i went to florida- without kids! griffin had surgery. landon started kindergarten. i ate a lot of feelings and threw a lot of parties.

i sure hope this post comes in handy when my kids write my obituary. i feel old being in my 30s but i've had a lot of great and some not-so-great experiences. i love where i'm at now. i'm thirty, flirty, and thriving!!

the girl who lived

i've dropped hints about this party, especially on instagram, and i hope you guys are excited to see it as excited i am to show you how it all went down!

i won't even begin to proclaim that i am the biggest harry potter nerd ever. i know several who are WAY bigger potterheads then me. still though, harry potter is THE book of my childhood. half of the movies were released my birthday weekend. the two fantastic beasts movies will come out that same weekend. november 16, 2001 i had my birthday party at the first official movie release. i bought tickets, FROM THE THEATRE, weeks in advance. that was before fandango people. i had to wait in a LINE. it was magical. flash forward a million years and here i am, 30 years old. and having another harry potter birthday party. because i'm an old lady. 

i planned this party for weeks! it really helped me keep sane while i was going through a tough patch in my depression. pinterest was my best friend! i knew i wanted a couple's dinner party which was perfect because meghan wanted to throw one. and thankfully since justin was feeling super guilty, he agreed to dress up and not grumble about it all. which is really hard for justin because he's the person form of grumpy cat.

invitations were sent via white owl to my friends a few weeks before. i had a picture on instagram and am too lazy to post it up here. i bought some stuff from china and ebay, some from hobby lobby, but most decorations were just printed and taped on. that's the bread and butter of my parties! around the house i had various decorations: framed picture of dumbledore, potion bottles, and house banners. in the bathroom i had a picture of moaning myrtle, directions to the ministry and also a haunting message from ginny. on the table i had some spell books, floating candles, wands, the mauruder's map. greeting our guests was the entrance to platform 9 and three quarters.

meghan and holly helped me with the menu since a) i'm not that great of a cook and b) i was super swamped that day. i really wanted to make a decadent chocolate cake and this one did not disappoint. it was delicious and everyone waned to take some home- the sign of a good cake.

i wanted the meal to center around my favorite - thanksgiving dinner. unfortunately i put off buying my turkey and then got sick friday night. i sent justin to the store with directions to buy a frozen turkey and awoke at 5am saturday to a frozen cajun turkey breast. imagine my horror! i rushed off to albertsons to find a non-cajun kind and was disappointed. i bought some pot roast but then realized that wouldn't work with my gluten-free friend. so cajun turkey it was! it wasn't as bad as i thought but definitely was not my favorite. the meal was still delicious.

my king's table finally got used to capacity and the setting was gorgeous. i especially love meghan's floating candles. notice the cute golden snitches i made.

 i told my friends that if they didn't show up in costume, they would be refused at the door. i made an exception for ali because she just had a baby a week ago. and hasn't been the movies. holly & nate were bellatrix and voldemort [the skull cap didn't quite work out but he got sown into his costume and she had on fake nails. so they won 'most dedicated']. kim & victor were ron & mcgonagall. she was supposed to be hermoine but forgot. meghan & steven were mcgonagall [she even bought a turtleneck. never seen the movies either]. steven was hagrid.

we got sorted into houses, played horocrux hunt, and some harry potter trivia. then we tried bernie's every flavor beans and they were disgusting but super fun at the same time.

 it was a ton of work for a three hour dinner party but it was still a blast and everything i hoped it would be. meghan asked me as we were cleaning up [which took forever] if i was sad it was over but i wasn't. november is going to be super jammed packed for me, especially with parties and things to look forward to. bring it on!

when grandma comes to town

i alluded to this instagram but my mother came to my rescue last week. justin travels a lot with work and he had a particular 3 week stretch of coming and going but mostly going that i needed help with. it came right as i was changing my depression medicine. the perfect storm. i called my mom and begged her to come help me out. despite her having two back to back trips planned in november. oh well! who wouldn't want to come hang out with me and be my personal au pair for no money? get in line people!




we had a ton of fun- well, i had a lot of fun; getting out and doing all the things i want to do but never can. my mom got in on monday afternoon and the kids were giddy with excitement. as was their mama! the first thing landon had grandma shell do was help him with some legos he got from his birthday. we had a nice family dinner then justin and i snuck out for a date!! we didn't do anything special: ice cream, goodwill, and target. well, target is pretty special. it had been so long and it was on a monday night! like young people!

our sad nevada leaf pile

tuesday morning i left the baby with grandma and porter and i headed to class and the grocery store. then i dropped off porter and the groceries then headed to landon's school to volunteer. i have to hit 30 hours a year and i've got more then half done already. i just like to go and see what he's up to and see how he interacts with his friends. luckily, his school is pretty awesome at letting parents come and go. i came for lunch and recess, then took landon out early for a trip to boulder city.

my brother and nephew recently moved there and bought a house. my mom coming was a perfect opportunity to visit. he bought a fixer upper like us and he's got his hands full, just like us! we played at the park, got slurpees, and had an early dinner together. it was quite miserable with all three kids but i'm glad i got to see my family. i'm the only one left in vegas now. how sad. that night i had a church meeting and i didn't have to drag along my cranky, tired kids! what a luxery!

getting too big for my back seat

wednesday i went to the gym and got to hit a class i normally can't go to because of griffin's nap. then i dropped off some invitations for my birthday party. i mean, hogwart's delivered some owls late this year. i am so excited! i picked up landon and his friends from school then we went to baseball practice that night. thursday i went to the temple with my friend holly after i dropped off the kids at school. i haven't quite gone once a month this year but i'm not doing too bad. afterward i tried on some bridesmaids dresses [my oldest BF is getting married in march] and got some lunch. all without kids! can you imagine?! sadly none of the dresses quite worked out. that night we had baseball again and it was a terrible, no good night. porter had sicky poo in his undies, griffin and porter bought threw up on me, and i was covered in both.

he told me he found money
it was a clothing tag

friday i stayed at home while griffin napped and got some stuff done. my mom took porter to his sports class then we went to lunch together at raising cane's. yum! that night justin got home and we went out on ANOTHER DATE!!! and stayed out until midnight like young folks! we had some me

xican food with the irelanders, cleaned the church with them and played some basketball/dodgeball, then watched youtube clips while the boys booked trains for their trip to south america.

my mom sadly left saturday morning to a lot of tears [mostly mine]. she has remarked several times that i didn't her as much as i needed a babysitter. which is true. but it's hard to eat dinner alone. it's hard to take care of three kids 24/7 without any help. it's hard not to go on a date with your husband or go to the store alone. i got so much done and i had so much freedom. my friend remarked that she hadn't seen me that happy in a long time! there was plenty of truth in that statement.

a few weeks ago i saw a sign at deseret book that i quickly bought for my mom.

home is where your mom is.

i started bawling right there and then. my mom doesn't love being far away from her kids and grandkids. she doesn't love living in a garage. but it's where she's at right now. i don't love being away from my family. i don't love having a home base. but it's where i'm at right now. and no matter where my mom goes, my home will always be.

what to talk about with a stay-at-home-mom

at this event i was forced to talk to an opinionated
republican and her ginormous boobs about
gun control

do you ever find yourself in a position where you're the lame duck? the one who no one wants to talk to/sit with? let's be honest, this does not happen to me often. i'm pretty fantastic and everyone knows it, including myself. but still, when i meet new people or i'm forced to make small talk with people i don't normally socialize with [ie. one of justin's many boring work events], i'm the weirdo. this is usually how it begins.


fancy person with a fantastic job and clothes that have no holes or food on it: hey there justin! how are you?

my handsome sailor who has kids but never looks homeless, unlike his wife: great! how are you? have you met my wife melissa?

frizzy haired mother of three whose excited to be out in public talking to grown up, even if she does have to wear spanx to be there: hi! i've heard a lot about you!
*this actual conversation doesn't show it, but i am super great at small talk. i can get people talking and liking me instantly. 

person who gets 8 hours of sleep reguarly and their alarm clock doesn't smack them in the face crying for milk and a show: hi! what do you do melissa?

woman wondering how many weight watcher points are in that small fancy brownie bite that will taste nothing like brownies and be an utter disappointment: i stay at home with my three boys.

shell-shocked and afraid person in three inch heels and looks comfortable in them: oh! that's nice....so justin what about those fancy pants polticial people we all know?
*like i said, not an actual conversation. politics is boring.

see! right there! that's how i become the leper in the room. and when i talk to people that already know i don't have a job, they ask one question about my kids and then don't talk about me the rest of the night. i mean, we talk and laugh because i am still awesome at conversing. but you have to realize, these people don't have kids. they might have one tolken neice who they spoil a couple times a year but that's not really their world, as is business is not mine. nothing is wrong with that! i'm glad people do that so i don't have to. i love staying at home, but still, i am a person. i have thoughts and experiences that are worth exploring. so here are some good conversation topics to talk about if we ever meet at a cocktail hour that only has nasty wontons and crab cakes.

how did you and your husband meet?
this is always fantastic! who doesn't love a good love story? especially since mine is the best. you only know my husband as a fancy pants in a suit and glasses but i knew his as a floppy haired football player. so it's nice to relive those memories. and see a different side of someone.

where did you go to school?
now, if someone didn't go to college, they'll just reply with their high school name and city. but if they did, they'll mention their college and what they studied. which will be a good jumping off point on why they chose that major and what their interested in. i majored in exercise science, which could lead to how i love coaching and one day want to teach at a school. see! i am educated!

did you hear about [insert a commonly known issue/occurance]? what's your take on it?
i don't read the news, but i do see what's trending on facebook. so there's a good chance i know some thing or another about that. like i said, just because i stay at home with kid's doesn't mean i'm dim. i'm just dirty.

so what do you like doing when you're not wrangling those crazy kids?
*i always love it when people mention how hard my job is and how they can't do it. because it is hard. and i couldn't do your job either

at this event we faked a child emergency right
after dessert was served so we could
hit the road - and the dessert was not
even good

don't ask me what my hobbies are. hobbies are things i don't have time for. but things i like to do are probably the same things you like to do, so we can talk about that. i like to workout, i love to read [although i doubt mr. lobbyist is into teen sci-fi but you never know]. i watch TV and movies [as long as they're at redbox].

what's your calling at church?*
*obviously for mormon folks only
political events are the not the only place people have a hard time talking to me. our home teacher came over the other night and had a hard time connecting with me, even though i'm awesome and hilarious. most likely, women in the church put their heart and soul into their callings, because it's one way of recieving outside confirmation of their coolness. i cannot tell you how great it makes me feel when our 8 year olds rave about my sharing time. it really makes me feel great. so 9 times out of 10, i bet if you ask what they do, they'd love to share how they serve and how much they love it. or hate it. but still, they're talking.

what are your three boys' names and what are they like?
there's nothing a mother likes more then talking about her kids. after vampire diaries of course. they are her job! she knows every single detail about them. and while you may not care about her kids, talking about them will help pass the time between entrees. kids are funny. kids do stupid and ridiculous things. kids are exhausting- and the stories that parents get from raising them are worth hearing about.

see! not that hard. i don't get it. i could honestly make conversation with anyone- and i have. if you can talk to a foreigner whose english is limited to the mcdonald's menu, then you can talk to anyone. people love to talk about themselves! ask one of these questions and use it as a jumping off point. that's how i've become facebook friends with several of justin's colleeges. what can i say? i'm awesome like that.

#firstsevenjobs

did you see that buzzfeed article on famous people's first seven jobs? it's nice to know that those awesome people who do amazing things weren't always CEOs of giant companies or flying into space. my roots are just as humble and apparently just as short.

1 - chicken butcher [my parents owned a chicken processing plant]

this is the only pic that comes close being a
work picture. my food handler's license.
oh goodness those "bangs" - chollo much?

2 - home theatre receptionist

3 - accounts recievable/general manager assistant

4 - custodian

5 - equipment cage manager

6 - recruiter receptionist

7 - podiatrist receptionist

current - stay at home mom

while a SAHM emcompasses a lot of skills, it's not highly valued in the marketplace. when i worked for the recruiters, i would sift through tons of resumes and weed out the ones without enough experiences. 9/10, the women who were coming back from taking care of their kids full time got passed over. it didn't matter what they had accomplished beforehand; they weren't current. now that could have just been my office but i doubt it. former SAHMs most often go back to menial jobs and have to work their way back up the ladder.

recently i received in the mail a statement from the office of social security that detailed my contributions [which started back in 1999 [i was 12]. although i worked for 14 years, i still hadn't contributed enough to qualify for social security when i hit 85 [which will be the retirement age when i'm old]. that kind of scared me. justin and i have a ROTH IRA set up for him and contribute as much as we can, but that's it. how scary is that?! i'm almost 30 and have nothing saved up for retirement. dave ramsey, i'm going to be stalking you.

this isn't the first time i've contemplated what i want to do when my kids are at school all day. i have a friend who has one child and i asked her what she planned to do with all her free time when her daughter started kindergarten. she replied that she would do the same stuff that she would always do: workout, clean, cook, shop, budget, etc. i felt bad for thinking she would have so much free time when in reality, she wouldn't. she would still be busy being a mother and wife. still though, i want more. i feel like i short-changed myself by getting a degree that's not really applicable.

i'm not quite sure what my future holds. i think even if i don't get a job, i'll still be busy raising and caring for 4 boys [and maybe one more- but not now #nobaby2016]. i'll be taking them to practices and helping with homework. i'll still have a home and people to cook for [what great blessing all these things are]. maybe i'll do more family history. maybe i'll get a six pack. maybe not. ok, for sure not. either way, i'll be busy even if i don't get a job. but i want one. and what that job will be, i'm not sure. hopefully something that makes me a million dollars by doing a minimal amount of work.