say what: bum holes & m&ms

while talking about santa
l: where's the north pole at?
m: shows him on the globe
l: but how does he get down here?
m: he has a magical sleigh that goes really really fast
l: [looks at me like i'm an idiot] well, it would have to be really really fast.

another conversation about santa
l: why does santa use the same wrapping paper as us?
[he posed this question before he even knew santa would use the same wrapping paper]
m: that's because he wraps your presents when he comes to our house. they don't show that on the movies.
l: oh ya, makes sense.

*man am i in trouble- kid is only 3 and questioning the magic of santa!*

l: come on mom! let's play legos. here, i'll bring your chair over [his fancy new bean bag chair from grandpa dave] for your big bum.
m: i don't have a big bum!
l: yes you do! look at it!
[in his defense, i used his puppy chair often when i would sit on the ground when i was pregnant and after because it's just more comfortable. and my bum is big].

landon had woken up from his nap and come into my room. i usually let him play a game while i summon the energy to get up from my 15 minunte nap.
m: landon, you can play one more time. then it's time to turn it off.
l: ok. shhh! shhh! [pats my bed back down on the pillow]. go to sleep....go to sleep...

while putting his pants back on post-poo
l: what is this?
m: your bum
l: what's his?
m: your poop hole. don't touch it, it's full of germs.
l: ok ya that is a hole. [places hands on my face] you were right!

i had just got my car detailed and landon was playing with a tube of mini m&ms. he wasn't supposed to be playing with them but i was driving. he shook them and they came flying out ALL OVER THE CAR!
m: oh no landon!!! what did you do?!
l: it was an accident. i'm sorry.
m: [insert huffy grumpy angry scowl]
l: it's ok mom, we'll just buy some more next time we go to the store.