my witching hour

i've been reading and looking into various methods of sleep training for porter and all of them agree that babies tend to get cranky in the afternoon, usually for some unknown reason. it's just their witching hour. i've discovered i have a witching hour as well.

my devil child being adorable

last week was a terrible no-good horrible day. in all reality, it wasn't too bad. i went grocery shopping with just ONE kid, my mom took landon for a few hours this morning- nothing too terrible. in fact, it was leading up to be a great afternoon. i got porter to sleep right as landon was going to bed- i was going to get to take a nap!  i am so ridiculously tired all the time and i never get to nap anymore. well landon didn't want to nap. and he fought me- for an hour and 45 minutes. he did everything- tore open boxes of clothes, ruined things. he also pooped in his diaper- and took it off. and touch it and got it everywhere. i did everything i could think of- singing, laying down with him, rubbing his back. it got to a point where i grabbed his face and i knew i could just lose it so i locked him in his room and laid down for 15 minutes, hearing him laughing and playing. all i could think of is 'that smug little bastard thinks he winning. i. don't. think. so' [yes i am an evil mom who calls her kids mean names in her head when i lose it]. i text justin and told him if he valued his children, he would come home. i laid back in bed and finally got landon to doze off-- only for porter to awake 5 minutes into landon's nap- which lasted a total of 30 minutes.

can you imagine how insane i was at this point? i binge ate all the chocolate in the house and the slurpee could not defrost fast enough. eventually my murderous side subsided, i got some of my anger out in exercise form and justin finally came home [although he was not much help at that point]. as i was walking around the neighborhood, i am murderous every day around nap time. really- i think every day i think 'this is the day that i finally get to nap' and nope, never do. the hard part is porter needs to eat so often and i can't really delegate that out. the thing is, once it hits 4pm i am back to being a patient kind mother but 1-4, i am the devil. seriously, how in the world do i get through my witching hour each day? i need some kind of release that doesn't involve chocolate or murdering my child. any suggestions would be appreciated to help keep my kids alive.

update: so i wrote this a week ago and i've really tried hard to change my attitude. i've realized that naptime for landon is no longer naptime for me but work out time. i've just realized and accepted i can no longer nap then. since i don't expect a nap, i am much happier and more calm when things don't go as i plan [ie- poop everywhere] plus i get my exercise on. it really has helped the past few days but holy goodness, i am still tired as can be. some days i would be willing to write someone a check for a million dollars to take my babies away for 4 hours. i am a much nicer mom when i've slept but i keep trying to remember that my babies will only need me for such a short time and i need to cherish these sleep deprived times.