Friday, May 13, 2016

melissa the mom

You know how you when you watch a tv show and you just think “yes! This is me! This is who I want to be!”. That’s how I feel about mindy lahiri. But she’s more Melissa the girl. Melissa the mom is personified best by Beverly Goldberg. If you haven’t seen ABC’s sitcom ‘the goldberg’s’ yet, I pity you. I was late to this party but have since embraced it as my own. I mean, bev just has so many words of wisdom. I could attend the school of Beverly and emerged a colorful, sequenced butterfly. One day, one day.

Anyways in one episode Beverly said something to the effect that she had to build up her kid’s confidence and shower them with endless amounts of love and praise because the world would just knock them down. No one in the world is going to love and praise them like a mother would. That hit me right in my mom gonads. I love my babies but I am the first one to call one of them the worst [not that one of them is, but if it had to be someone, I would probably assume the one who pinches his brothers for no reason would be it]. When I get with my friends, it’s easy to mom-bash my babies and lament over the terrible things they did recently. Frankly it feels cathartic. But they’re listening. And even worse, repeating. I’ve heard landon several times tell porter that’s he’s the worst. Not sure where he picked that up from, these things just happen. I want my babies to grow up thinking they poop rainbows and sparkles. I want them to think they can conquer the world and go for it. And when they fail, I will be there to tell them the world can suck it because they’re too good for the world anyways. Bev completely adores her children and puts their needs well before her own, a practice I’d like to think I do but let’s be real, does not happen as much as it should [sorry children I made you watch the good wife at lunch time but I just really needed to zone out].

landon is starting school in the fall and i am really dreading it. almost everyone i talk to discourages me from pushing him forward because he would be the very youngest in his class but i feel like it's the right move for him. mind you, the people telling me this don't know him. still- i'm really feeling conflicting emotions. i am drowning- constantly- with three kids so being one short 9-3 isn't a bad deal. but the thought of my little caterpillar going out into the world on his own- WITHOUT HIS MOTHER- is downright terrifying. he could learn bad words, pick up bad habits, make friends with people i don't know or even worse, get picked on. kids are mean [i should know. porter is mean] and i can't stand the thought of his little light being dimmed by a bully. he's going to have experiences that i know nothing about. experiences i can't control. that makes me all sorts of anxious. i understand now why some people home school.

that being said, mothers days was this past week. as i've lamented several times about how much i miss my mom. i understand that my days with my mom are numbered and so i'd like to gleam as much wisdom as i can from her. i think about my own kids. i pray they never have to grow up without me but you never know. if i died tomorrow, they wouldn't remember me. not really. that's why i try to blog. and journal. and take lots of pictures. i'm grateful for the knowledge of eternal families and i'm comforted that i'll get them forever. i love being a mom and i'm glad it's my eternal role.

i never liked babies. i never chose to babysit as a teenager- i loathed it. i'd rather be poor then watch kids. even now, i don't have that natural, nurturing quality. one time in primary there was a lot of little kids just losing it and the other presidency members were snuggling kids. then they passed one onto me- and i blanked. i held her for a second, then put her down. i mean, i just can't do that. that's not my thing. i can love and snuggle my own kids but others.... no thanks. that's just me. but even though i'm not naturally loving, i'm still a great and loving mom to my kids. they were made for me and i was made for them. that's who melissa the mom is.
Pin It!


KinderTeach said...

The mom Melissa is a good one. Beverly is a good character for you though. We've been Mindy Lahariing you for so long, but it's not all of who you are. You are a smother, not a bad thing.
Don't listen to people about L. He is ready. I know the kid and am a kindergarten teacher. I would love to have that booger in my class. If you have the right teacher, kindergarten will be an amazing experience for him. When I show parents a comparison, even physical, from beginning to end of the year, they are overwhelmed at far their baby has come.
If you died tomorrow, your kids may not remember you in the traditional sense, BUT they would know you. We would never leave those kids alone, even the sour patch kid! We would share so many stories, and Awn could tell her version of the flowers in the tub. Your kids would still be smothered by the best!

Kari said...

Wow, I love this. I feel like I relate %95. I'm not a kid person, but I'm good at it because I'm the oldest and babysat tons as a teenager. But I didn't love it, and still mostly only enjoy my own kids.

I also am with you in Landon going to school. I DREADED Lydia going, for all the reasons you listed. And while I still prefer her home, I love seeing her flourish in the world. So while it's a lot like you say, just know there is some good.
and everything you mentioned needing to work on, ditto.

You're a good momma and a lot to look up to.

Caitlin said...

i love this. i needed this. and i'm with you about the other kids as well. i too hated babysitting. (still do!) its like we were the same teenager at the same time! haha. But really, thanks for sharing. Melissa the mom is a great mom!

Amanda said...

Loved this post. And I don't really want to hold anyone else's babies or watch anyone else's kids haha I just try to remember that my children were send to me for a reason. And somehow, the sorry excuse for a mom that I am, is exactly what they need! Love you! We need to see you guys soon~

Charley said...

Thanks for writing this. The last paragraph resonates with me. I often think, what's wrong with me. But I'm the right mom for my kid and she's the right kid for me! Thanks for letting me know there are others out there who feel the same as I do!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...