the house that built me

it's official. my childhood home is completely empty and ready to be put on the market. in two weeks, my brother achieved the seemingly impossible. it still hasn't quite hit me that my mom's 'home' will no longer be in las vegas, but utah [gag]. the last two weeks were so physically draining that i didn't have time to realize what exactly was happening.

my dad is a special kind of fella and is legit crazy. like crazy. so the house we had lived in for 20+ years had all sorts of treasure [junk] in every nook and cranny you could think of. clearing it out was so easy feat. my mom took everything he could to his new house, my mom had to pick through and grab a couple treasures, and we got rid of the rest. being the only sibling with a home in vegas - a large home at that - i got a lot of stuff. so much so i was beginning to worry my house would become just like my parents. everything else got sold or donated. i organize my first [and let's face it, my last] garage sale. totally worth it financially but a lot of work. it made me realize how amazing working moms are. it took a mighty toll on all 4 of my boys.

one of the silver linings in this scenario was spending more time with my family. my oldest brother [by 10 years] was down here for two weeks, one of those spent at my house. his family came down for part of the time and my mom and dad were here too. there was hardly a moment when nate wasn't holding griffin, which was a godsend. my boys adored spending time with their uncle and i loved hanging out with him. having that large of an age gap meant i didn't really get much time with him growing up [that i remember]. we are somewhat similar and had a good time together. and my mom? i just love having her around. she likes to refer to our relationship as one that's mutually beneficial. she babysits and i....i don't know what i do for her but hey, i'm happy!

one afternoon when i was up at the house i took a bunch of pictures for my sister's to see what it now looks like. my parent's built this house in 1992- i was turning 6. all my memories are there. back then we were the edge of the universe and now we have a huge community around us. the house has always been lovingly referred to as the farm because we grew up with so many animals there- horses, chickens, turkeys, ducks, cows, goats, pigs, dogs, cats, snakes, fish. as i walked the empty rooms, i thought of my memories there. here are a few.

i remember running from the house onto the driveway when justin pulled up. fresh from his mission, he instantly kissed me [despite having broken up with me over a year before]. the best moment of my life.

i remember endless hours [early morning, at that] spent at the piano practicing. my mom was a slave driver but now i am so thankful i play.

i remember many christmas eve nights spent in the piano room, listening to my mom read the christmas story from the bible. then singing for my mom- something that happened very rarely as i got older.

i remember sunday night dinners with my whole family. dinner was typically chicken [my parent's business] and the girls fighting over the chicken legs.

i remember stuffing eggs down the carpet attached the bar wall because I HATE EGGS. and as my old hs friend lovingly reminded me when i saw her at my 10 year reunion 'you guys ate eggs with everything'.

i remember learning how to cook in the kitchen. meaning i just did my thing and got mad at my mom when she would offer me advice.

i remember many nights of watching tv with just my parents. i was the baby and had no life so i often watched CBS shows with them. think back to that scene from 'my big fat greek wedding'.

i remember learning how to sew in the laundry room and vowing that i would never again make another quilt. and i never will.

i remember walking the hallways of my house with landon in his stroller. as a newborn he wouldn't stop crying so i often pushed him through our house in the early morning hours to get him to shut up. it didn't work.

i remember always walking in my mom's room when she was getting dressed or pooping. just generally bothering her and never giving her alone time. oh how the turn tables.

i remember walking into my parent's room one christmas and seeing my presents in the bathroom. that was the year santa died.

i remember sharing my bedroom with my two sisters. then one sister. then when i got my VERY OWN ROOM.

i remember snuggling my cat fluffy on my bed and crying over another mean thing justin did to me. honestly it was mostly due to his oblivion but i was a tender soul during my teen years.

i remember walking into devin's room after she got in trouble for texting too much. i thought that whole texting thing would never catch on. it took too long and much easier just to call someone.

i remember babysitting peanut and giving him baths. then watching him find my cat food or tampons and eat them. thankfully i took pictures.

i remember reading all the harry potters in the bathtub- the last 3 within 24 hour periods. seriously my bathroom is what i'll miss the most. i would sit on my toilet sideways and spend HOURS in there. i was the baby so i didn't have to share it. seriously, i miss that bathroom. i could go back today and spend hours in there still.

i remember 'disecting' one of josh's fish that died with anna. or peeing in the sink. or when justin painted me my elder boyfriend. or my sister's helping me get ready for my wedding. lots and lots of memories in the bathroom.

i remember sitting on my back wall and contemplating life. oh the struggles of a teenager.

i remember loving to help my dad feed the horses at night because he hid candy bars in the hay trailer.

i remember spending my saturdays shoveling horse poop then riding his tractor. all to enjoy a nice coke at jone's feed.

justin tried to convince me that we should buy my parent's property and make it our own but i was adamantly against that idea. i love the idea of a house having memories. my memories at my mom's house are of my childhood, my past. i want my kids to have memories at a new home. i once read one of those annoying quote pages on fb that said you never know when the last hug is the last time and all that jazz. i didn't i had enjoyed our last family meal there or my last christmas with my family. regena, you've been a good home to us.


*here is another time i wrote about my house*