boys boys boys

so the cat is out of the bag - we are having another boy! three little boys, can you imagine? someone texted me and said that it was her worst nightmare.

....


really, i can't blame her too much because i really had those thoughts too. i really wanted a girl and i was certain i would have one since this pregnancy was so different and i was much more sick. i wanted justin to have his daddy's girl and for landon to get his baby sister. but obviously that's not what heavenly father has in plan for the harrison family.

on the flip side, i had a friend who texted me that she believed i was blessed with boys because i was a strong and wonderful mother who could teach and love these boys to become powerful men- leaders in the priesthood and righteous husbands. that i had been blessed with a sacred and special calling. i appreciated that text much more then the earlier one.

i wanted a girl, i really did. but i have nothing against boys - i love my boys so much! i prefer boys. they are easy, they are predictable, they are wild and rough but they are my greatest joy. girls are expensive, they are emotional and so fragile but they are soft and cuddly and sweet. i want to raise boys, i want to go to soccer games and help them earn scout badges, but when it comes to grown-up children, i want a girl.

here he is making a gun with his hands
oy, i am in trouble

boys go on missions. they get married and start a new family. they leave their mothers and don't [usually] look back. not that they don't love them, they do- but they don't call to chat about their day, run to costco for diapers, or meet for lunch. they don't come to the mom's house to hang out or go get pedicures together. if anything, they go on hunting trips with their dads or ask mom to babysit- but still, it's different. i love and cherish my relationship with my mom so much and having boys, i know i'm going to miss out on that. granted, i'll have somethi
ng wonderful and different, but it's so unknown. justin says i just need to make sure i'm not a crazy mother in law and hope my daughter in laws want to hang out with me. that's taking a huge leap of faith - daughter in laws are the worst! i know several of them who refuse to vacation with their in laws, go to dinners at their house, let them watch their children, let alone hang out with them.

see my pain?

i guess i shouldn't worry so much about the future but i do. i love my boys so much and i know they love me but one day i'll be replaced [as i should be] by their wives. but nobody can replace a mom's place in a daughter's heart.