Saturday, January 10, 2015

peace out 2014

i've already recapped my year - and it has been a great year. i'm kinda hesitant to judge what 2015 will be. first off, it officially means i'm old because i'm going to have my 10 year hs graduation. like an old lady. i don't think reunions are really necessary anymore since we already know whose gotten fat & ugly since hs. basically you go to them if you were in student council or if you were popular. gladly i was neither.

last year i made some resolutions and i feel so-so about them. i am proud i got 100% visiting teaching for the year. i know a lot of people hate it but i've always enjoyed it. i mean, i get to eat cookies and sit around talking to girls? the best! and i've made some lifelong friends visiting teaching. i have tried to be a better wife to justin - his love language [service] is not easy for me because i feel like i'm always serving him at home. i still have a ways to go but at least i know how to 'talk' to him. as to getting in shape- i think i did pretty well. i joined weight watchers and didn't drink soda for 6
months. i still have 10 porter pounds to go and then 10 more landon pounds on top of that. i feel healthy though - i got some blood work done recently and my cholesterol looks good. i workout often and try to eat good, sometimes. a work in progress. family history, i am not doing it, my family history. i want to but i just don't have the time. not that i can't spare 10 minutes here or there but you really need 30-60 minutes to dedicate to it. once you get started, it's hard to stop. oh well, a time and a season. i still don't feel like i always pay attention to my kids and make their needs a priority [all the time] but i've gotten better. i don't expect a nap everyday and i'm less grumpy when i don't get time away from the kids so that's good. we have been doing great at FHE and family prayers, not so much on scriptures [which we used to be good at]. we usually do it after dinner but justin is gone so much at dinner time, we often miss it. i am incredibly proud that i've breastfed porter for 12 months [almost]! it has not been easy but at the same time, it has. i love snuggling porter and having an excuse to sit down and focus on him, because i would be tempted to just walk away from him if he had a bottle. i don't feel like it has helped me lose weight though and porter was more dependent on me because he wouldn't tae bottles for 12 months. either way, i'm proud of myself and i'll do it for my subsequent children. i do write in my journal and the kids; not every month but often enough. i like to write down milestones or special experiences. luckily we went on several fun family vacations this year- utah twice, disneyland and miami. we have been very blessed and i'm thankful we can escape reality every once in a while. lastly, i tried to be a better friend and gossip less. well, that was a fail. i still am so bad about gossiping. i do feel like i am a good friend though, to some people. i try to bring meals to new mothers, send birthday cards and funny videos to my family and friends. but others i've lost touch with or forget about. i know that's life but still, i want to be better. one of my friends once noted that i have a lot of friends from several different eras of my life and she admired that. that makes me so happy. i do try to keep in touch with my good friends when we move away. i'm not perfect but i still care for them, whether we talk often or not.

so 2015, what do you have in store for me? i'm a little scared but excited. i feel so grown up and i know there are adventures and changes on the horizon, i just don't know what they are. i'm excited to see all of my boys grown and learn. i'm excited to see how i evolve as a mother, wife, and friend. so my 2015 resolutions- some new and old - are:

1- keep it tight! i want to keep going to the gym regularly- becoming stronger and thinner. i want to give up soda again [of course, not slurpees. but just once a week n
ow instead of two]. and TRY to eat healthier.

2- grow in the gospel. i have recently been called as a rs teacher [yay!] and i'm so excited! i feel like i am growing in my scripture knowledge and insights. i wish i could attend the temple once a month but with my mom gone and babysitters costing an arm and a leg, i'll just have to settle for 'as often as i can'.

3- read a couple self-help books. i want to be a better wife and mother, so anyone have recommendations along those lines? i really am not a fan of the genre but i'm surprised how much i loved 'mothering' and 'love languages' so you never know right?

4- keep writing in our journals and documenting our life on the blog. i'm finding that writing on here keeps getting more challenging. what do i write about? who even reads it? when do i find the time? i hope one day my kids can read this and see into our life when they were younger and know me on a personal level. maybe this is how i contribute to family history? either way, it's important and i'm glad i do it. even if it does cut into my tv time.

5- find a hobby. i don't feel like i have something that really defines me, gives me purpose. i want to get good at something that i really enjoy. maybe writing? something to do with fitness? i sure love eating junk food, maybe there's something to that.

6- stop relying on others for my happiness. i think the reason i gossip is because people make me upset/bug me so i talk crap about them, hoping to feel better which in reality just hurts me. i don't feel any better. when i really think about what really bothers me, it's really just stupid things. i really like the people, i'm just being a butthead. everyone has faults and i'd like to start focusing on that instead of the bad things. i think this also goes along with facebook and instagram. i am on those stupid apps more then i'd like to admit, mostly just to kill time. either way, it's stupid and pointless. my kids are right there and need their mother present.

7- go on some more killer vacations. i love to travel and get away from it all. when justin and i were newleyweds we laid out some of our plans and goals as a couple and yearly vacations were a must. even if they are just to utah, they are needed!

2015, it's going to be my year. i can feel it.
 
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3 comments:

KinderTeach said...

2014 was a great year. It brought us Porterhouse. Awn got knocked up and we got a Natalie. 2015 can bring us a new baby/child is Bub's life. After all it is her turn. 2015 will also bring you being knocked up as well. You learned that you could survive a Thanksgiving and Christmas without your mother. You learned that you could survive lunch without Heidi's. You learned that you could survive a day without Landon napping. You learned you could survive somebody switching jobs. You learned that you could nurse successfully. You learned that you can drive by yourself with two kids. You learned that your child peeing outside in public is life. :)
In 2015, you can learn that you can stop nursing successfully. You can learn that you can survive Landon not napping at all. You can learn that you can survive someone switching jobs. You can learn that you can travel all by yourself and it can be fun because you can listen to your music when the kids are asleep. You can learn that you don't have to spend both Thanksgiving and Christmas in Vegas. When your parents don't live in town, you have to share in other ways. (Maybe that should be on someone else's lists:) ) You can learn to find a new and more fabulous lunch spot.
Things that you don't need to learn: You are my baby sister and I love you. I would do anything for you, even hide the body for you (even though you would sing like a canary), you are not the favorite aunt anymore, and for sure not the favorite daughter anymore! :)
Love you baby sister

Kari said...

I read you're blog! Don't stop :) And way to go on your resolutions, I'm impressed with your self reflection.

Caitlin Tappana said...

Yes please don't stop blogging. Especially because starting next week I can read it more!! Love you and love your goals!!

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