my precious[sssss]

you know, being a mom is hard work. it's not all couch surfing & laundry folding, although i am an expert at both. there are noses to be wiped, poops to dispose of, and meals to be fixed. there's cuddles to give, whining to be ignored, and stories to be explored. sometimes, its hard to have someone always pawing at you while you do dishes. it's very easy to get frustrated and short-tempered. but more often then that, to take them for granted.

today i had the worst scare ever. landon is quite the naughty boy- always getting into things he shouldn't and eating things that are paper. my sweet little boy- just wants to be into everything. well he made a grab for something and stuffed it in his mouth in a second. i got it out but parts broke off, cut his mouth, and made me afraid he'd swallowed some. can you imagine the pure terror i felt? nothing like it. turns out he didn't, but he had hurt his mouth. and even spit up some blood. and broke my heart.

this little boy- he just means the world to me. before kids, i couldn't even fathom the kind of pain and worry i feel for him. babies are so vulnerable, so breakable. it's amazing any of them make it out alive. the mommy-baby bond is one unlike anything. i love justin- couldn't imagine a life without him. but my baby, he's literally a part of me. if anything ever happened to him, i couldn't recover from that.

even thinking about it- makes my heart hurts. a while ago while swimming, my friends toddler was running around the pool with his brother and fell in. she acted in supermom mode and jumped in, not even missing a beat. dove right in, grabbed her little boy and pulled him out. it stopped my heart since i was literally a few feet away holding landon. even hours later, thinking about it made me get teary. these little people are so precious, so delicate. it's amazing heavenly father can trust us with them. esp since i can't even grow an avocado pit.

ahh- this kid. love him more then life.