Sunday, February 19, 2012

mel's meanderings: social butterflies & the extinction of friends

in case you don't know this, i'm pretty shy. naturally- really, i am. if you met my parents you'd understand. growing up we never went to ward parties, our parent's friends houses, or anything social whatsoever. my dad is anti-people and my mom slowly forgot how to socialize living with a man who despises the human race. and they lovingly passed that gene to their kids.

going into social situations always terrifies me. who do i talk to? what will i say? what if i awkwardly mention the thing i'm not supposed to but it's just staring me in the face? what if no one likes me? this phobia haunted me until high school and the process of mel slowly occurred. i figured out who i was and how to talk to people [the secret? get them to talk about themselves and act interested. don't worry, they are too occupied to even care about you]. since then, especially justin and i as a couple, love social situations. in fact, we love it. game nights? throw them almost every weekend. sport parties? i've got the dip. i realized recently, my brother is the same way- he has bbq's almost every weekend. but others in my family are still allergic to interactions with other people- and that's ok.

makes you wonder- nature vs nurture? welcome to another episode of mel's meanderings. where i become a crotchety old woman who complains about life and what is currently pissing me off.

either way - my point is people suck. really, you suck. some people really just get my goose - either by defriending me on fb [i thought we were friends - GOOD friends! but moving somehow changes that?] or by saying you're coming to our party but cancelling out at the last minute- over and over again. or by having kids and suddenly not needing friends anymore [good luck moving that body, buddy]. or always count on you to initiate conversations/social interactions. i don't get why people don't want friends? i'm not talking about the chronically anti-social. i have family like that and that's ok- that's your slice of cheese. i'm talking about people who appear to like social situations but are flaky or don't reciprocate or don't realize they hurt feelings by being inconsiderate.

honestly, i think there are few people who are friendly and welcoming and social naturally. they kind that are resilient to snubs but i am not one of them. i think it has something to do with age and situations in life. for example: high schoolers will do ANYTHING for their friends, no questions asked. college students will do ANYTHING for their friends, as long as it doesn't interfere with their love interest, homework, or video games. married people without kids will see you on select occasions as long as it doesn't interfere with their jobs, school, or mclovin. i realize interests change and available time significantly narrow with age/distance/obligations but it doesn't have to. everyone needs friends. i know that no matter what, i can call up my sister and talk about myself for 45 minutes and cackle together. i can email my bff8 and vent about people in a long-winded email and she'll do the same back to me-- in a week or so. does it really pain you that much to be a nice and considerate person?

so stop being pills people and be a good friend.
*oh and if you think i'm talking about you, i most likely am.
Pin It!


Amanda said...

I like this post. I feel like I have no friends and you're right, everyone needs friends! Real friends that is, not flakes haha

Jordan & Heather Wong said...

I love ur bluntness cuz people like this suck. I totally understand about getting unfriended just cuz u move away honestly WHO DOES THAT?! Too bad we don't live closer together we are a lot alike!!

Caitlin said...

I'm glad we are still friends even though we live so far away from each other. Some people neat to realize what they have with you bc some of us don't get our Mel fix ever. And lately, I have really wanted my Bff8.

Kari said...

I hate when I just want to have a game night and everyone bails or no one wants to come over! We're pretty friendless here and I wish we could get together for some games. We'd always be there!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...