Friday, February 10, 2012

i am now living the life of leisure i was meant to

did you know i'm a fancy lady? i am - super fancy. fancy enough for a DAY SPA - ya that's right. read it and weep ladies. actually, it was a surprise and oh-so-needed. i 'quit' my job about 2 months ago but gave them lots of notice so my last day was last friday - except it was a day full of fancy and wonder. i worked at a small podiatrist's office- just the doctor, her medical assistant and me - we'd been together since may when she opened her practice so we're also great friends. they tricked me and said my last day we were going to a conference but had secretly coordinated with my mom and justin for us to go to qua - the spa @ caesar's. we got there late so we rushed into our first treatment which was a 'fiji ritual' - basically i looked like this on a table
and yes, i know you're wondering
my bum does look all heart shaped like that too
dimple free

except a lot more cellulite and floppy bits. and a flower - man, i feel jipped. my lady first squirted me down with these fancy shower heads then scrubbed my bod. then she rinsed me off [and i tried my best to withhold my giggles] and rubbed me down with lotion. basically she performed what i had previously done the night before but somehow it felt better. afterwards she gave me a scalp massage, even pulling my hair straight out and slightly tugging on it...i felt like a treasure troll. but a relaxed one. it was so nice and extra cool because the room is basically a huge shower. and now i know what it'll feel like when i go into the old folks home and get my bits professionally washed all the time.

we had some time between treatments so we pranced around the tiny bathrobes [why don't they make them bigger?] and nothing else. lots of bits were flashed around this place. A LOT. they had a fancy tea room where ladies lounged in said-robes, sipping on drinks and chowing pretzels. the spa was super nice - they had roman baths in 4 different temperatures- tops optional. thankfully no one took advantage of that while i was there. waterfalls everywhere. heated stone lounge chairs. oh and water and fruit everywhere. my only complaint? no chips. or chocolate. or soda. really people, what kind of fancy spa is it that they can't spring for a tube of pringles and a bag of starbursts? really. oh and herbal and dry steam room. and what better to do after a steam room then go cool a SNOW room - yes, a ROOM that SNOWS! granted, it wasn't really working in top shape when we were there but really, it snows. see!
now imagine me in there - naked as a jay bird

so after said chowing on healthy fancy food and lounging with lots of lady bits i had a deep tissue massage by some nice lady who actually lives by me! so i really look forward to seeing her again after she has seen me naked- that'll be awesome. anyways that was freaking amazing to feel so much pain [esp the after affect the next day- being sore from a massage = white people problems]. after our massage we dipped in the pools then snacked at cheesecake factory and got my calories on for the week. it was heaven.

so now i am officially a full-time stay at home mom and let me tell you- it's kinda awesome. i wear sweatpants all day, gave up make-up...showers even. man i wish- no i still try to keep this diva up to par but i do wear yoga pants most days. i've already gotten quite bored though- how do you stay at home moms keep yourself busy? i understand how it's crazy busy with 2 kids but with one-- idk, there's only so much i can do while holding a kid. my mom says to pick up a hobby....any suggestions? i'm thinking of learning how to do duck calls or cake decorating.

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Jordan & Heather Wong said...

O my fancy I want one now! Dang girl u had a pretty Amazing boss!!

Caitlin said...

Oh my gosh! That sounds wonderful. I'm so jealous. I think I'm super close to developing jealatosis.

Anna Campbell said...

How about you dothe computer sells part of etsy for me!

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