pregnancy update: i've contraping! i'm contraping!

weekage: 38.5 - less then 2 weeks! i have been having contractions but no braxton hicks-weirdly

38.5 weeks
oh the fat days

17 weeks
oh the skinny days

progress: ALMOST a 2 as of last week's baby apt [i have another thursday]. when my dr told me that, i stared at her and wanted to cry. i still do when i think about it. seriously, being pregnant is the bomb.com- i get to eat, sit down when other people have to work, and i get to wear stretchy pants all. day. long. what could seriously be wrong with that? [granted, i've had a pretty easy pregnant in comparison to others]. i just don't feel like it should be TIME yet- being in carson for months 1-4.5 of this pregnancy made it go by too quickly [but at the time i thought it was dragging on]. so ya, totally don't want to do the whole "labor" thing. sounds messy. and painful. so i'll just veto that and go straight to my little baby. any suggestions on how to do this?

poundage gained: well i won't tell you that but i am 37" [belly measurement]- one week i gained like 4" then i went up one or two. now i'm stuck at 37", so basiclly he is as big as he wants to get...which is weird bc when i look in the mirror i'm not NEARLY as big as i thought i'd be. insane, bc i'm pretty much puffy the whale. i've got cankles people- CANKLES.



such a sassy gal
in my cool new slurpee tshirt
free from my slurpee points



food i'm currently oinking: actually, nothing really sounds good. ever. [aside from slurpees but that always sounds good] lately we've had to eat out a bit more then usual and we're always at a loss. i don't eat as much and nothing really tastes good. maybe landon is subconsciously wanting me not to eat so he doesn't get any bigger and doesn't have to come out....

skinny girl i hate: the girls who were due around my time but have already had their babies. seriously, wtc? maybe i just announced too soon [it was after 12 weeks!] so others announced theirs later [how could you have kept it a secret for so long?!] but these girls need to realize that it's MY turn to have my baby, not theirs. so just step off.

highlight of this month: we seriously have been SO blessed as of lately! not too toot my horn, but justin/my family can tell you i'm an excellent tooter- of all varieties. technically, i've was blessed to have 4 showers! i know, sounds extreme selfish but alas, they were kinda necessary for our families' situations. one i had in cedar with my bestest of friends and my other formerly-pregnant-but-now-a-happy-mother-of-abby bff8. the second we had before my SIL lynsey went off to fancy schmany eye dr school in houston. the third was the originally planned one with my family/sisters/friends who live out of town. and the fourth was just for kicks and giggles with my couple friends. now before you go 'wow that melissa is a selfish cow', let me tell you a- i am and b-hello! why not? if people want to give you free stuff when you are dead poor, who are you to tell them no? seriously though, it was such a blessing bc we had NOTHING and desperately needed the handouts from friends/family. now our boy is gonna be ridin' dirty [literally- bc i'm not one who likes to change poopy diapers. that's devin's job] and in style bc he has tons! we have been so spoiled blessed!

oh, and did i mention we got a house? WE GOT A HOUSE!!! halle-freakin-lujah. we have been house hunting for over a year and been living out of boxes since december (that's 10 months people!). i'll go into details later when it's more concrete but we just got into escrow ["i'm in es-ka-row!" do you even know what escrow means?] this week [do you 'get' into escrow? is that the right verb?]! we are so excited/terrified that something will go horribly wrong. but if everything works out, we should be in a home by halloween!!

my life is so twilight: [seriously- check out this website- it's hilarious] so for all of ya'll who haven't read twilight [and the 4th movie doesn't come out til my bday weekend-coincidence? i think not], bella is pregnant with her huvamp child. i don't want to spoil anything but things happen and the baby can't breathe so bella screams "RIP HER OUT!" and edward does just that- with his teeth. so how does this resemble my life? well, it doesn't. but it's a pretty crazy right? so ya, hoping my delivery is not like that.

how my life resembles the office: i'm sorry, quote overload. but they are all too awesome to pass up. so deal people. no one's making you read this- except if your justin, then ya i am making you read my blog.

Kevin: Pregnant Pam and I, we get hungry at the same times so we've been eating together a lot. Not all meals. Just, second breakfast, lunch, second lunch, and first dinner.

Michael Scott: Ho! Ho! Hooo! Contraption! She's contrapting...! Ok, you know what? I think that I should drive you guys to the hospital and here is why. I am a licensed, Class C driver in the state of Pennsylvania . I, gassed up the car--actually I put diesel in this time, trying to safe some money--
Jim Halpert: You shouldn't have done that.
Michael Scott: Happy to do it!

*if justin doesn't mark our baby, i'll be so pissed when we get baby-switched/napped

Michael Scott: [packing for the hospital] Will I need a dictionary?
Oscar: No, the hospital will provide a dictionary, bring a thesaurus.

Pam Beesly: Ok, ok, we are not going the hospital, we are waiting until midnight.
Michael Scott: Oooh. Spooky. But why?
Jim Halpert: Because, the insurance company only covers two nights.
Pam Beesly: Everything's fine. We've got plenty of time.
IT Guy: Well, you don't wanna wait too long Pam. Otherwise the baby's going to come a teenager in there and uh you'll be up all night. From, the rock music.
Michael Scott: Shut up, Nick! God. Weird thing to say. Weird IT Nerd. Don't get revenge on me nerd.



this buziness is gonna happen to landon
best to warn you folks now

 Pam Beesly: There is no rush to get to the hospital. I'm fine. I'll get there. And if I don't get there, I don't get there.

Pam Beesly: (Starting to cry) I don't think I can do it.
Jim Halpert: (Comforting Pam) Hey are you kidding me?
Michael Scott: (Behind jim trying to also comfort Pam) Are you kidding me?
Jim Halpert: If anyone can do this, you can do this.
Michael Scott: You can do this, you can do this.
Jim Halpert: Pam, I'm scared. I'm real scared.
Michael Scott: I'm scared too.
Kevin: (Trying to also comfort Pam) I'm petrified.
Jim Halpert: But the best news is, we're going to have a baby today, a really awesome baby
Michael Scott: We're gonna have a Ba-by.
Jim Halpert: So let's have it at the hospital.
Michael Scott: Let's do that.

what i'm looking forward to: maternity leave! my little pigeon-pie/doodle dumplin/sugar puff [i've got lots of nicknames stored up for him]. moving into a house. getting all my stuff out of storage [people say when you downsize on stuff, you end up not missing it and are much happier being less materialistic. what a bunch of snobs- i miss my crap. all of it. every last meaningless and useless cat statue]. decorating my house and the nursery.

what i'm not looking forward to: labor/episiotomy/pooping on the table/pushing/pain/having my water break at 7-11 [for as often as i'm there, it's a very real possibility]/losing our house contract/landon being sick/being death poor.