Wednesday, October 8, 2014

say what

m: landon, you can have a sandwich for lunch. do you want a turkey or peanut butter one?
l: turkey. with peanut butter.
m: ugh, that's gross. no, you can have peanut butter OR turkey.
l: i want turkey. with the white peanut butter [he meant
miracle whip]

while on a walk
l: i want to be captain hook [we had just gone to the museum where a kid hogged the captain hook costume]
m: you mean for halloween?
l: yes. and daddy can be peter pan!
m: oh fun.
l: and you can be the crocodile! and EAT peter pan!
m: well what about brother?
l: he can be tinkerbell!
m: but porter is a boy! boys are tinkerbell- girls are
l: no no mom. he has to be tinkerbell- we need a tinkerbell so it's porter's job.

landon was just chatting away while i was blissfully ignoring him and trying to get things done
l: mommy, it's all my fault.
i drop everything that i'm doing and look around for the disaster
m: what? what?! where?! what's your fault?
l: it's the dragon mom, the bad dragon. he made a big mess.
dude was creating some imaginary situation then took blame for it. i do not get this kid.

landon was playing outside in the rain and i caught him digging into daddy's grass that he just seeded
m: landon! get inside! you can't dig up daddy's new grass like that.
l: oh mommy, i'm so sorry. i made a mistake. i'm so very sorry. i was trying to dig up the seeds.
m: why would you dig up the seeds? they need to be there to make the grass grow.
l: the bugs need a place to live- and they like big holes.

while sitting with my mom-  both of us venting about life
me: don
't you wish sometimes we could drink?
mom: no, but i wish sometimes we could shoot [people].

while at target in the toy aisle - i had told him to not even ask for something but he could look while we were waiting for a friend
m: landon! it's time to go- i am leaving now.
l: okay! [speaking to the toys] goodbye! goodbye! i am going to miss you! and you! and you! and you! goodbye!! i will miss you the mostest [hugging some toy].

after an hour of trying to put him to bed, i went in for another time to get him to fall asleep by telling him a bedtime story.
m: once upon a time there was a beautiful princess named princess mommy.... [how all our stories begin]
l: with daddy dragon! not smaug, daddy will be the dragon!
m: and one day a mean dragon named daddy came and stole princess mommy up while she was baking cookies...
l: the cookies were in the oven! and they were hot!
m: the knight landon heard mommy's screams and put on his armor to rescue her.
l: and knight landon put on his booster and sword and sheild and helmet and breastplate
m: landon! if you don't stop interrupting me i won't tell you the story anymore.
l: alright i won't interrupt you again.
m: so then the knight landon got on his trusty steed....
l: no! he didn't get on his steed, he put on his booster and...
m: i'm done!
l: no i promise i won't interrupt you again.
m: [sigh] so the knight landon found the dragon's cave...
l: the dragon lived in a castle high in the sky! and princess mommy screamed...
m: i'm done!
seriously, he is the worst. he talks so much, so often and so fast! i swear i can't get him to shut up.

Pin It!

1 comment:

KinderTeach said...

You're just upset because he talks as much as you and that means you have to listen more than you talk now!!
It was so much fun having you here. Hope you and your boys come back soon.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...