the long dark road to skinny

bc my blog can do with more cat pictures

you know the saying 'those that can't; teach?'- i've found that for me, that's particularly true. i got my degree in exercise science [not pe- that actually would have been practical in the workforce], expecting to go to physical therapy school in case things didn't pan out with justin. i absolutely loved it. i love science, i love anatomy, i love exercise, i love sports [playing- not watching]. ideally, if justin and i did work out i planned on being a stay at home mom and coaching lacrosse [still plan to do- once i can be flexible once again- who knows when that will be]. so in a nutshell, i know all about exercise, weight loss, nutrition- i know all that jazz. yet i'm fluffy.

granted, i've always been fluffier then the next girl and i've been ok with that. as long as i'm healthy and active, i could make peace with the fact i would never be nicole richie [post-"the simple life", pre-harlow].  then i got pregnant and life got grand bc i could eat WHATEVER i wanted - and it would be legitimately ok with me lounging about and drinking 3 slurpees in a week. honestly, i was never too bad. i worked out  almost every day my first 5 months of pregnancy and i watched what i ate [somewhat- i was no jessica simpson people] but my body wanted to gain 50 lbs of baby comfort. so i did - and i was ok with that.

until now.

landon is 7 months and i've lost about 25 lbs of baby love but i've got 25 more to go. plus the weight i gained when i got off bc [who knew!]. post-baby i've somewhat watched what i ate and worked out when i can [love my walks] but it wasn't going nowhere. one of my mommy friends recently started weight watchers and she inspired me to pseudo-join as well. my mom is a lifetime member so i've known about it my whole life but i've always associated it with fat, old stuffy women. well folks, i am fat and old [to justin- he told me i was 25 years and 6 months so i'm considered late-20s]. i was super intimidated by the whole idea. #1- we don't have extra money for me to spend #2- i can't workout like i used to pre-landon to keep my weight in check #3- mama bear gets her cravings worse NOW then she did pregnant. granted, i'm still pseudo-breastfeeding but i swear cravings are worse now. i guess they're not cravings...just fat girl moments. so with the help of my hs friend melissa & her journey through ww [check it out here!] and some random websites- and my mother's immense knowledge- i am unofficially a ww gal.

ok- this only makes me crave mcnuggets.
and to kiss landon's cute wrist rolls

the first week was tough trying to figure out the whole points thing, how that works, what i can eat and how i can cut corners- i'm proud to say in 2 weeks i've lost 5.5 pounds! yaya! i think ww is successful because it makes you more aware of what you're eating. for me, i think 'of course celery with slabs of peanut butter and raisins is a healthy snack' but it's completely loaded with unnecessary fat. you'd think i know how to eat better? nope- i HATED my nutrition class. i would proudly proclaim to my professors that i'd rather run 5 miles to eat a twinkie then sit on my butt and eat celery all day. still do- i LOVE hostess snacks [thx dad]. i workout to eat- simple as that. now i've learned i can't do that.

food is essentially fuel- that you poop out. you can poop out hoho's and cheetos or something healthy. either way, it's all coming out. it will either leave you a few pounds lighter or with the nutrients that you need. for me, that hardest part is boredom and severing the emotional ties to food. i'm not a dog, i shouldn't be rewarded with chocolate [please keep in mind, during that time, ALL RULES about food get abandoned. it's only right. don't worry, it's all negative-calories that week]. so i've been making better choices. and writing down EVERYTHING that i eat- even if it's a cookie [or six] that i sneak in when justin's back is turned. even when i go off the handle a day [weekends are so hard!], i write it all down and resolve to not let that happen tomorrow.

i don't know about you, but i'm more appalled by her hair.
and improper use of the headband.

granted, this is my third week so i'm no ww expert. that's what google is for [bc the internet doesn't lie]. i just need to publicly declare that i'm on the ww wagon bc i'm sick wearing a size larger then i was before landon. and i hate my new mommy-stomach roll [aka- the coochie poochie]. and i want to feel sexy in lingerie. i'm not being a monica about it - i still am going to go out and i realize i'm gonna eat like crap a day or so. but it's about lifestyle changes.

i remember a few years ago my mom said she saw one of my old childhood friends at a ww meeting and i was SHOCKED- she was gorgeous, thin, rich [not that that's relevant to weight- but seriously loaded]. i couldn't understand why she was there- until now. it's just about making better choices to feel better about yourself. it's not like i'm depressed with who i am now- i just want to have confidence again. and no back rolls.

so j-hud, lets do work.
ps- a 40oz coke slurpee is 10 points+. so one a week for this fluffy gal.