Tuesday, August 30, 2011

baby's first threat

i love my child so much and i can't wait to meet him--except i can. i want to. i NEED to. we are just not ready for him yet because
a- we are homeless
b- justin just started his new job and last semester of school
c- the nursery is not set up yet
d- we still don't have half the things we need
and the most selfish melissa of reasons
e- i have two more baby showers to attend and i am super excited for both of them!

he just can't come yet but man is he trying to. about three weeks ago i started having braxton hicks but they weren't the normal kind i read about [tightening of the stomach, painless, barely even notice them] but quite the opposite [very painful, very uncomfortable, in my back]. then they stopped-- until yesterday [justin's first day of work at his fancy new job]. i was so scared i was going into labor - and the internet, who is normally my bff when it comes to all  knowledge & awesome, was not helping. what i was experience was sometimes called fake labor and other times defined as real labor. way to go my old friend. when i googled 'how to induce labor' i found these gems
-drink caster oil
-go on a walk
-eat spicy food
-sex [again- how i got in trouble in the first place]
and my favorite piece of awesomeness
-nipple stimulation

and 'how to stop contractions'
-drink water
-lie down
-take a warm bath
and then logically one can deduce
-no sex
-no nipple stimulation [where's the fun in that?]

so basically the next few weeks i'm gonna be retaining water and a real hot mess of sexiness, which won't matter because i won't be able to have any fun anyways. i am so terrified of him coming early, it's insane. everyone i work with is constantly telling me i'm going to come early while my mom came late. which leads me to give my son his very first threat.

and in true harrison men fashion, he is not taking this threat lying down [because technically, he's upside down].

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Sam and Caitlin Tappana said...

Take advice from this to stop labor:

Michael: Jim, as a matter of fact, I have printed out ten ways to induce labor. And I'm thinking we just do the opposite of those things and we can slow down your labor. Erin, read the first one.
Erin: Um, stimulate the nipples.
Michael: Okay, nobody touch Pam's nipples. Think of Pam's nipples as Toby's grundle.
Kevin: Her shirt is touching them. Maybe we should cut holes in her shirt.
Meredith: I have a shirt like that in my car.
Michael: Okay, yeah, why don't you go get it?
Erin: Okay, uh, the second one is walk around. We're already doing the opposite of that. Perfect. Okay, number three, eat spicy foods.
Michael: Okay, the opposite of that?
Kevin: Stick spicy food up her butt.

I think kevin is onto something...

KinderTeach said...

Don't worry Landon, you can come this weekend and I'll buy you the pet

Kari said...

Just as a comforting thought...it is more often that first babies come late rather than early.
And braxton hicks can be very uncomfortable. I remember four weeks before I was due with my daughter, I was at church and thought for sure I was in labor. I had to leave because I was in so much pain.
However, nothing ever happened.
Except the next week I was dialted to a 3 and still had all month to go...and did go all month and had to be induced the day after my due-date. I also thought I was in labor during the day I had TWO baby showers.
It's crazy how these babies mess us up.
Good luck, and no matter what it'll be great.
Also, having a baby shower after the baby is born is more fun sometimes. I liked it better anyways.
Sorry I wrote a novel in the comments section. I just have done this twice before so thought I'd share.

Jordan & Heather Wong said...

haha u are so cute! love the letter! I hope he doesnt come out! out of all of those "to induce labor" caster oil worked for me! I even had my membranes stripped! not a fun thing so be glad that u are not trying to push him out!! sit down and stare at ur belly and watch him move all around! I cant wait to see his cute little face! hope u are feeling ok!

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