the case of the belly holes

i'm a huge fan of law & order, having seen special victims unit marathons on tnt several times but alas, even i can't solve this humdinger. i'm not one to pay too much attention to my clothing [must be due to the fact that my hippie dad often chose to forgo this social norm-thus raising his children to be naturalists (special sidenote: i googled a more fun & fancy way of saying nudists or naturalist and i came upon this- "q: what do you call people who like to walk around naked?" "a: freaks"- hahaaa. i didn't know stone liked to post on yahoo answers!)] but justin sure is. yes, i married that boy. the kind that never wore the same shirt twice in a school year. usually i'll just throw on whatever is on the floor [read: stretch pants & a sports bra] or looks best on me [read: stretch pants & a sports bra---i'd like to delusionally believe] but alas, justin is always very aware of what i put on this rockin, hard [bellied] body of mine. and lately he's been noticing my many holey shirts.


yes i did notice i spelt moly wrong, but moles are still prime suspect numero uno for the holes....so double jeopardy

how do these holes appear you ask? i have no idea. here's what i've been able to come up:

-i drop scissors on my tummy, cutting little holes in it. and i do this on every shirt i wear [level of plausibility: 3]
-bugs like the taste of my cloths/detergent [level of plausibility: 0, at least i'd like to think it's a 0]
-my clothing is cheap and can't deal with the extra stretching my midsection has done lately [level of plausibility: 2 or a 9: 2 because i got holes before i was pregnant and a 9 because i have stretch some of my clothes to the limit lately]
-my stomach is constantly rubbing up against unsmooth surfaces [justin's face when he's talking to landon...i wish. he doesn't really get that close. plus he's a smooth shaver] like counter tops or my jeans [level of plausibility: 1: what a lameo way to get holes in your shirts. plus what kind of surfaces do i encounter that are made of sand paper?]
-extraterrestrial beings like to take small, bite sized samples of my clothing near my bellybutton because that's where landon hangs out at [level of plausibility: 8]

personally, i side with my grandma hurst & her bubbles [meaning, i believe in aliens. plus that way the fault doesn't lie on me].