it's great not to procreate



my friend denise & her twins



so i know about twenty girls [no joke] who are preggers right now or just had a little bundle of joy. as a girl of a certain age, it makes you wonder what your missing. ever since i've gotten married...okay, ever since i turned 20, i've had, what i refer to as, baby hot flashes. one minute, i'll want one really bad then the next...not so much. it's hard not to want a little baby you can dress up like a old man garden gnome but real easy not to want a puking mess of nastiness.



now don't get me wrong, i am a mother of sorts. i've got my babies [read: neice & nephews], i've got fluffy [the fish], and rory [the baby doll i got from my friends on my 21st birthday. even back then i wanted a baby]. i have those mothering instincts to go along with my birthin hips. and heaven knows my mother & mol are ready for us to have those chicklens, but not yet. and anna- she's call me many a time to ask justin & i to hop on that wagon [why yes, this IS creepy].

honestly, i am way excited to have a baby one day but not today. i mean, who doesn't like babies? the cute little clothes, their little toes, did i mention the clothes?? i am quite green over these little mamas but alas, it is not my time yet.  babies are coming one day but until then, i've decided to help easy my hot flashes by making a list of things that i can do that those girls who had a little bit TOO much fun can't.
-well, i can drink or smoke or do recreational drugs if i want. i think my bishop would have issues with that but it's still something i can do
-i can clean out kitty litter boxes. for this though, i first need a kitty
-cross my legs
-i can eat fish & all the mercury i want! basically, i can become a thermometer and no one can say poo
-sleep on my belly
-dye my hair
-eat without vomiting
-back up without a loud BEEP! BEEP! going off [ok...im sorry! but i just had to throw that in]
-clean the bathroom with the door closed and vent off-go on that roller coaster tour of america i've been putting off-sleep through the night without getting up to pee
-caffeine! slurpees! my precious!
-run. not that i do.
-cook in a hot tub
-see my toes [thanks for pointing that out anna]
-not stink up a room. although i do do this more often then i should.
-eat raw milk. hello e coli! and raw eggs....cookie dough people!!
-get up [from sitting down] without help

-not pee my pants or have a spontaneous boobie leak

-jump on a trampoline
-inflate balloons

see? not being with child is kinda awesome right now. granted, when my time does come, i doubt i'll have any issues making a similar list [which would include 'getting to wear your fat jeans all year 'round' and 'eating.eating.eating']. honestly, us women have the best of both worlds. miley wasn't kidding.