the indian julia roberts

if i were a fictional character, i would most likely be kelly kapoor. for all those living under a rock, she is the spicy indian curry customer service rep at dunder-mifflin/sabre. i'd be kelly and justin would be my ryan, obviously. darryl would be fluffy (the fish) because honestly, he was always just a band aid for the pain ryan left when he went on a mission...oh wait that's not right...

so here's to the lead singer of subtle sexuality. sorry for the massiveness of quotes but i couldn't help myself. YOU try picking your favorite one out of these

i think sometimes people are really mean to the hot, popular girl.




what dance competition? I was just dancin' casual with my friends, y'all.

yeah, i have a lot of questions. number one: how dare you?

just tell him i'm up for anything. i mean, i'm not a slut, but who knows.

darryl philbin is the most complicated man i have ever met. i mean, who says exactly what they are thinking? what kind of game is that?

this day is bananas. b-a-n-a-n-a-s. this day is bananas! b-a-n-a-n-a-s!

SO jealous of your boobs.

um, diwali is awesome. and there's food, and there's gonna be dancing. and, oh, i got the raddest outfit. it has, um, sparkles...

cafe disco? more like crap-ay disco.

if i get to stay and ryan is laid off, i will kill myself, like romeo and juliet.... the claire danes one.

i never really thought about death until princess diana died. that was the saddest funeral ever. that and my sister's.

if there was a god, ryan and i would be married by now.

oh my gosh darryl, you look like barack obama. everybody, i'm dating barack obama.

Of course I'm the leak. I think I tweeted it. I can't control what I say to people. I spend the whole day talking. I video chat, I Skype, I text, I Tweet, iPhone, I Woof...

This girl was really rude to me at the mall, so I created a fake IM account from a hot guy at her high school, and now I'm trying to make her anorexic.

I guess in most romantic comedies, the guy you're supposed to be with is the one that you've never really thought of in that way. You might have even thought he was annoying, or possibly homosexual.

I love rivalries. Michael or Jim. Paris or Nicole. Heidi or LC. It's so much fun. But, I guess if I'm really thinking about it and answering your question honestly, I'd have to go with LC. Heidi's a bad friend. And her skin, is terrible.

My boyfriend dumped me, so, I stole his boat. I mean, he told me it was his boat. It was actually his father's. And I just thought it'd be really romantic, like 'Thelma and Louise,' but with, like, a boat. And it was the worst year of my life.

I have made a list of people that I would make out with before I would make out with Michael Scott. A turtle, a fridge, anybody from the warehouse, a woodchipper, Kevin, a candle, and Lord Voldemort. Anyway, Happy Birthday Michael.

No, no, no no. She's hot, okay? Because if you are saying Hillary Swank isn't hot, then you are saying that I am not hot. Because obviously I am not as hot as Hillary Swank!

I swallowed a tapeworm last night. It's going to grow up to three feet inside of me and then it eats all my food so that I don't get fat. And then after three months I take some medicine and then I pass it. Creed sold it to me. It's from Mexico.

I cannot wait to visit Ryan in prison. I'm gonna wear my hottest track suit, and get my hair done, and then be like, "Hi Ryan." And then all the other prisoners are gonna be like, "Damn! Ryan, you got a hot ex-girlfriend. Ooh, I would never have treated her so bad when I was outside of prison."

I don't talk trash, I talk smack. They're totally different. Trash talk is hypothetical, like: Your mom is so fat she can eat the Internet. But smack talk is happening like right now. Like: You're ugly and I know it for a fact 'cause I got the evidence right there.

kobe bryant has a foundation, and he is so hot. And he gave his wife the biggest diamond ring. I know he didn't do it. Maybe he did it.