my heart is a house: welcome to the world briggs

Briggs William Harrison

February 16, 2019

9:39am

8lbs 20inches

I had been having contractions since week 20 and like I said before, the whole third trimester I was in a lot of pain. I was convinced that I would have this baby early. I had her check me the last week and I was still only dilated at a 1. thank goodness I have c-sections because my body just does not know how to go into labor correctly. another reason why I'm grateful I have c-sections is I can plan around it. the last week of pregnancy I cleaned, organized, and got everything ready for my mom, Justin, and substitute ms. heather. the day before I delivered, some of my best friends came over and helped me clean my house top to bottom, while another watched my kids. that was so nice to have a clean house for a whole 4 hours! did not take long for the boys to desecrate the bathroom. my mom drove in that afternoon amidst a week long storm in Utah, which was another blessing. I couldn't do this without her or Justin. they are my rocks. that night we had one last party as a family of 5 and watched 'Charlie and the chocolate factory' and ate too much candy to celebrate Landon finishing the book.

we checked into Summerlin hospital bright and early Saturday morning at 5:30am and I was already hungry. sadly my surgery got pushed back two hours, which in the end was better for my nerves. my mom and mother in law were able to come in the pre-op area [despite being told several times only one person would be allowed there with me] and I was able to get the anesthesiologists on board with my mom being in the room with me. again, this was a far shot and some of the night nurses were being real brats and getting my hopes down, but in the end I won! nothing like a pregnant woman on a mission! once we got the ok, we ran down the hallway [really, we ran. all of a sudden they were in a huge rush and even had me leave my mom and Justin behind while they got changed] into the OR. by now I had a better delivery nurse who was pretty amazing at keeping my mind off of the impending doom. and despite the nurses' warnings, the anesthesiologist was super nice and put my mind at ease, despite that terrible spinal block. my mom and Justin finally came into the room and they were off and running. the surgery is pretty terrible and scary so this time I just kept my eyes closed the whole time. that, plus a blessing from my husband the night before, really helped put my mind at ease. granted, I was still terrified but it was doable. you still feel a ton of pressure, tugging, and pulling throughout the whole thing. I remember the first thing Justin said when he came in the room was that it smelled like Fritos. he meant the smell of my flesh being burnt and cut open smelled like chips. and not even that great of chips. when I would open my eyes a bit, I would see Justin or my mom peeking up over the veil they keep on my side so they saw a lot more of the procedure then they're done before. when my dr got to the uterus, she said she could see briggs through it peeking up at her sunny side up. griffin was positioned a weird way in the womb so someone literally had to climb on top of me and push down on my belly to get him out [like their butt was in my unknowing face]. this time they had to use a vacuum which was definitely not pleasant. they got him out and he didn't cry. it took a little bit for them to get him to but even then, he was quiet. he had swallowed some fluid so they had to use a deep suctioning tube to clear out his airway. they cleaned him off a bit [and didn't let Justin cut the cord, which made me quite angry] and then let me do skin to skin. I was pretty exhausted and out of it at this point so I didn't hold him long because I was scared I would drop him. then Justin followed the nurses out of the room to go get briggs' breathing checked out.

my mom then took over holding my hand and reassuring me. I know I've said this before but this was the biggest blessing. when Justin leaves me and I'm all alone for those 20-30 minutes while they stitch me up, is the hardest time of my life. luckily though she was there to calm and take care of me. my dr took all of my Fallopian tubes and not just a section like they normally do- because I want zero chances of another boy! after they stitched me all up, I was wheeled to the post-op recovery room for 2 hours while I got monitored. this is usually when I first hold my baby, see his first bath, and nurse him. because he was having some trouble breathing, Justin was with him in the nursery and I was alone with my mother and mother in law. looking back I am pretty grateful for that alone time. it allowed me to rest without the guilt but still, I wish I had my baby. after the two hours, we still didn't have any answer about briggs and his breathing. turns out they had trouble contacting the on-call pediatrician and even the chief of pediatrics to ok the x-rays. I didn't get to hold briggs until 2pm when they brought me back to my room.

nursing is always a challenge for me. Landon I tried for 6 months to nurse, failed miserably [I was starving him-oops!] and then gave him formula [best day of my life, let me tell you. that mom guilt is real but so not necessary. FED is BEST!]. porter I visited different specialists, endured through some months of pain, but ended up getting him to latch and nurse. griffin was about the same. so I'm enduring a few weeks of pain but it's worth it to breastfeed. I really do love it, even if it is an inconvenience sometimes.

we had a miserable stay at the hospital. almost every person I talked to said they hated Summerlin but a different one wasn't an option. it was just a couple things that really soured the experience- a few nurses, the fact that they didn't put a baby low-jack on briggs [which they should have done the second he was born. we asked two different nurses to finally get it after he was 24 hours old. apparently they ran out, which I think that's something you shouldn't be able to run out of], our toilet leaked and then didn't even flush after having a maintenance worker come. they never got my food order right and after I had checked out and was waiting for Justin to bring the car to the hospital, a hospital worker came and demanded we paid the co-pay right then or we couldn't leave. [we had tried to pay it beforehand and even asked when it was due. we were told we'd be sent a bill]. plus, I know this is pretty petty but at centennial hospital I always got a nice steak dinner and delicious cake [which I had enjoyed for 3 babies]. Summerlin promised a nothing bundt cake- but then I had to ask over 15 times to get and by then, it was a matter of principle. if they were demanding my co-pay before I could leave, then I was going to demand my nothing bundt cake. I know, petty.

briggs is now a week old and is such a sweet baby. his brothers all adore him and fight constantly about who gets to hold him first. they're very good about washing hands before touching him and are constantly loving on him and talking to him. I've had a harder time healing and been in more pain this time [maybe because they took out my tubes] but I think it's more likely because I've been doing too much. I am a go-er and a do-er. it's hard for me to sit back and let dishes pile up or a floor left unswept. he loves to sleep in his carseat and is a binkie-aholic. he came out wanting to suck and hasn't stopped. he doesn't eat much so I have an abundance of milk and often wake up soaking wet. I just love that little squishy boy. I'm so glad we were blessed to have another child. sometimes I feel selfish and overly blessed because I have four healthy, beautiful children while some can't conceive or others have health trials. I've tried to slow down and enjoy these moments more. he is such a great baby and I love him to bits.