welcome to the world mr. porter

location: the hospital
time spent here: long enough or approx. 2 days, 6 hours, 16 minutes
exhaustion level: 5 [i'm still on the endorphin-mommy high]
pain level: 4 [this incision is no joke. i forgot how much it hurts and how long it takes to heal]
how much i love my baby: 8 [hold screen sideways]

how the story begins: wednesday before i delivered, i put myself to work. scrubbing and cleaning my toilets, putting toys away, getting meals ready, writing babysitting instructions for landon. i really liked having a scheduled c-section because i could prepare so much and get so much done before- like making sure i'm shaved and toes are painted and bags are packed. we enjoyed a nice cane's lunch with my mom then took our last nap. landon went over to his mema's house about 5:30- i got myself a last slurpee, some cafe rio and waited for my husband. his work had other ideas about our last night together so i enjoyed my feast alone with my downton abby friends [anyone watch the latest episode? holy goodness!!!], took a bath and read for quite a bit ['allegiant'- even though i know the ending is ho

rrible]. justin came home briefly before he went to basketball and i tried to go to sleep early. well that didn't work- i tossed and turned and squirmed and worried all night. i probably got about 2 hours of sleep until about 3am and i couldn't handle it anymore so i bathed my last bath and read. we had to report to the hospital about 5:30am where i was hooked up and asked a bazillion questions. my mom came about 7am and they took me back to the operating room about 7:30am. it was horribly cold and oddly in the same room where i had landon- so i had quite a bit of flashback anxiety/fears going on. the gave me a spinal block then strapped me down on the table. justin came in about 20 minutes later and they cut into me right away. lots of pulling, tugging and prodding. the most painful part was when they had to get 2/3 people [including my male anesthesiologist- a nice big black man who was hilarious] push incredibly hard on my lower rib cage [right where my lungs are] to get the baby out. he was so long and stuck it took several hard pushes that i'm pretty sure i was going to suffocate before they got him out. being on the table was, once again, terrifying and i was a crying mess. it's just so scary and so horrible and not natural- not that i wanted a vaginal birth or want one next time but still, it's not a preferable way to go. i figure any way birth is horrible so pick your poison. they pulled porter out at 7:54am and immediately i knew he was different- his cry was so different then landon's was. justin took pictures, they cleaned him up, justin cut the cord then they were able to put him on my chest for some skin to skin which was so amazing. [apgar score of 9] i didn't have that option last time and i'm so glad i was able to do it this time. it really just helps bond you- it's a magical feeling to know your little baby was just in heaven a few moments ago. and it helped porter calm down and settle in. they then wheeled him and justin into my labor room to wait for me. it took about 15 minutes to get me stiched up and moved into my room to see my baby. he was so handsome and looks so much like justin, way more then landon did. such a beautiful moment.

how the story continues: we had to hang out in my labor room for 2 hours after my surgery to be monitored. nurses came and checked us both out. my mom, justin and i got to snuggle our little baby. i was really anxious to get landon and teryl to come visit. due to a lot of people checking out we didn't get back to our room until the afternoon sometime. last time i was so wired i didn't sleep a full 72 hours after landon was delivered. this time i was so out of it- not mentally but physically. i was so weak i couldn't hold up my arms or keep my eyes open. since they were taking so long to check us out i told teryl to come. i was so excited to see my little landon- he could really care less about me. he was just excited to see a new environment. he wasn't too interested in porter either. he asked to see him but that was pretty much it. he was excited to see shannon [my sister] who came shortly before teryl and landon did. he did love his present porter got him [a jake & the neverland pirates lunch box with a gogo, juice and dora fruit snacks] and the present teryl got him [some thomas trains]- oh and the cheetos shannon brought. now here is where it get's fuzzy [i would ask justin but he went to grab us some lunch]- i'm pretty sure justin took landon home for a nap and my mom, shannon and teryl took me to my new recovery room with porter. i was so out of it and not really there i'm a little confused about the time around here. i did nurse porter right away which was pretty great. in my room i slept for a bit and teryl went home and got some rest [i think- not sure? i remember hearing them talk?]. the first day i worked hard on nursing and snuggling my litttle baby boy. i couldn't eat solid food or drink anything for most of the day which made me incredibly cranky. justin slept the first night with me. that night the irelanders came to visit us [conveniently at the time of my first getting out of bed adventure/pee excursion which is always a fun time] and so did grandpa dave, kristi and dave's cousins visiting from flordia. immediately i knew porter was a different baby then landon by far- he was so calm and so mellow. his cry was that of a wet kitty cat and not of a hellion just released from the pits of hell. not that landon is from hell, but his cry sure was. porter has just been the sleepiest, cutest little boy in the world. i didn't know babies could be so adorable and so sleepy. i have to wake him up every time to nurse and work hard at getting him to eat a full meal. nursing has been quite the challenge. last time i used to shield and this time i was determined not to at all costs. i really want to nurse and it is incredibly painful- i had the lactation specialist come help me and she said it's just going to be painful for a few weeks until my nipples come out [lucky me] and porter gets a better latch. either way, i just love him so so much and i'm so thankful to have him in my life.

"mom, i am less then a day old. stop with the pics ok?" 

how the story continues and continues: we've been fairly bored so far with our visit to the hospital. we don't have as many visitors as last time and the doctors have been slow to come visit. my doctor did convince me to stay another night so i can have more time to rest [esp with a toddler at home] and to work out my breastfeeding issues. porter did lose 10% of his body weight [landon did as well] so i have to start supplementing and pumping-supplementing to make sure he's eating enough. he was not much a fan of the fake milk [can't blame him] and i have been pumping more then i did with landon so i'm hoping with my milk now in, he'll bulk up some more before we leave. he really is the sweetest ever. landon has been well taken care of- he's been spoiled rotten by his grandmas, aunt and uncle. he's had so much fun and gone to so many different houses he hasn't had a second to miss me. i think once i get home he'll be all over me like white on rice so i'll try not to take it personally but with all these baby emotions going strong, that is no easy feat.

i feel so blessed to have a healthy little baby boy who sleeps and eats and snuggles. before i never missed the newborn stage but now i know i will. he just completes me and i never want to let him go.