a heart full

oh goodness gracious, this is going to be one of THOSE posts. you know the kind that make you want to vomit and stop reading but you really have nothing better to do so you read it anyways, knowing you're going to be disappointed. well, hopefully i don't bore you that much- i do have a reputation to uphold here. the people in malaysia need me [really, they do. i don't know why but i get traffic from there].

call it baby hormones but i am feeling just so blessed and so happy at the moment. well, maybe it as more to do with my lortab i'm taking every four hours, but my heart is just so full! it's so nice when all your friends and family come together to support you at a special time in your life. the night before porter's delivery, i had so many texts/calls/well-wishes, it was amazing. so many people just reaching out to tell me they were thinking of me really made me feel so special and loved. i'm not a solitary kind of gal, i need me some friends and attention. lots and lots of attention. and i've received it. this is in no way comprehensive, but here it goes.

thank you to my wonderful husband. he does not handle stress or blood well but during my surgery and after, he just amazes me at his ability to love and assist me with any and everything. he cleans the house top to bottom, doing things i wouldn't even think to do. he takes care of landon, going on walks or trips to the man-store just to get him out of the house. he helps dress me, pick up everything [i can't bend over]- he does it all. i'm just so amazed at the love he's shown for me. i really did pick a winner. thank you to my wonderful mother & mother in law who not only took care of my first baby but were so willing to just go with the flow and do whatever i needed, even if it was just a visit to take my mind off the stress of things or to take landon for some special one on one time. thank you to shannon for taking time off work, traveling several hours to be my own personal slave- sleeping in the hospital, sleeping at my house, wiping my child's butt, giving him slurpees, just being there to support me. and i know my other sisters would have been there if they could- just being a text away means so much to me. i feel so grateful for my long distance friends- caitlin, holly, kayla. even though you're not here you make me feel so loved and supported. great friends make such a difference. i'm thankful for my las vegas friends who've brought me meals and offered to babysit landon so i could get some rest. i have such a great support system. i'm thankful for angie for taking pictures of my little baby and being so patient while he gets in his model pose. really, she wasn't afraid to take time, soothe him, love him or just give him a few minutes to calm down. i'm thankful for my hospital nurses- i can't even remember half of their names but i won't forget how they were kind and patient with me, how they took time to make sure i was comfortable and not scared. doing what they do, i bet it would be easy to loose sympathy and patience, just wanting to get your job done. but they really did care and took the time on me. i'm grateful for the power of the priesthood. i'm so grateful for my covenants and the power of prayer. i'm so thankful for our nice, comfortable home to come home to, for insurance to cover costs of things, and for the amazing power our bodies have. really, i'm so thankful i've been able to breastfeed. things with landon were so stressful and hard- this time porter has been able to latch [a feat in itself with my breast issues], i'm making enough milk for him to gain weight, and i'm able to give my baby the best nutrition i can. i'm grateful for all my friends and family who put up with my million pictures and comment on how cute porter is or how great i look or whatever- those little comments might take a minute out of your day but really make this flabby post-natal gal feel special. and above all, i'm so thankful to my heavenly father who gave me this opportunity and blessing to be a mother. it's amazing that any baby is born healthy, considering how many things could go wrong in the whole baby-making process. i'm so thankful i can be a mother and have the opportunity to nurture and bless this little tiny baby. it's amazing to think he was just in heaven just a short week ago. yet here he is with me. and i'm so grateful for that.

ugh- emotional vomit. it's just the worst. but it's easier for me to post it here then it to tell someone to their face or put it on facebook. to quote my aunt, life is good.