the songs of my heart

music has always been a huge influence in my life. my mom always said that i didn't speak my first words, i sung them. growing up, i loved loved loved singing and i loved performing. i had singing lessons, i sang at schools, county- fairs, anywhere that would take me. my mom forced all her little hoodlums [except josh, lucky dog] to learn to play piano starting at the age of 6 [5 for me] and we hated it all those years. every morning, starting at 5:30am, we took our turns playing for an hour. anna would always get pissed and have to blow in my mom's face [read: morning breathe anyone?] and i mastered the art of sleeping on the keys. now days, shannon is the only one who can play like a champ. the rest of us can fiddle through the hymns if we have to, but music was always a big part of our lives.

oh, and we loved our musicals. eliza doolittle had her rain in spain, the master of the house kept the zoo, and i enjoyed being a girl. my brother nate even gave us three little girls our own songs from les miserables ['castle on a cloud' was mine]. i never realized just how odd it was for little kids to like musicals til i attempted to get justin to watch [on tv, no less] a musical.



choir trip soph year- i wish i had a better one but alas, no.



while my brothers & sisters had to learn an instrument and be band-nerds, i was a choir-queer and i relished every moment of it until about sophomore year of hs. by that time i had done show choir with kayla, i had had that solo, and i had been the section leader. for some reason, i just started to hate it. maybe i burned out or i realized i could never be kristen chenoweth. either way, i was done. and i especially wouldn't sing for my mom [couldn't give her that satisfaction].

so now i have a meagerly-average voice and i'm okay with that. i sing loud in church, smugly knowing that the ladies behind me couldn't hit a pitch if it was the size of wiffle-ball. i will proudly jump from alto to soprano parts and back again at odd times just to keep people on their toes [esp caitlin]. i still won't sing in choirs [can't stand that mediocre talent, that i am sadly apart of] but every once in a while, especially at christmas time, i'll sing 'were you there?' for my mom. i sing too loud in the car and while i clean. and i'm good with that.

with all of that being said, i still love music. you know that feeling you get when you listen to a song and it sings to your soul? it speaks the words you can't form. says the feelings you can't express. or express a moment that you thought you had lot. songs do that to me; help me remember what it's like to be alive. i love finding a song that speaks the words of my heart. i most recently found this one, 'dog days are over' by florence & the machine [thank you glee. you surprise even me]. close your eyes- close your eyes. can't you imagine storming out of your crappy job, walking out with your head held high, and embracing the new & unknown? me too. these songs seem to capture some deep & life-changing point in my life. here are some of my favs. and ps- music snobbery is not tolerated here. just because you listen to indie doesn't mean you are cool. liking what you like is cool, no matter who sang it [lesson learned: jessica p. stoneman with 'love bug' by the jonas brothers].

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deathcab for cutie: "i will follow you into the dark": If there's no one beside you, When your soul embarks, Then I'll follow you into the dark. epic love song.

hilary duff "come clean": don't hate. too many people are prejudice against teeny-poppers. sometime the masses are right. this song reminds me of blair & me, dancing in an empty parking lot, or at 7-11, or around her room. high school in a nutshell.

butterfly boucher:  "life is short": seize the day people. Oh I am young but I have aged, Waited long to seize the day, All things said and plenty done, Oh I am young but I have a past, Travelled far to find the start. Yes I am scared and I've been burnt, But life is short. 

plain white t's : "hey there delilah": this was my anthem for two years. every time i drove through the black mtn pass between st. george & cedar, i'd sing this song & cry. Hey there Delilah, You be good and don't you miss me, Two more years you'll be done with school , And I'll be making histoy. i think this song was made for missionary girls.

genesis: "that's all": i wish i could understand why this song touches my soul but no answers. phil is the master. i think i just love the beat. to me, this song is about toughin it out through the horrible times when you & that special someone can't agree on one single thing. that's love.

tim mcgraw: "indian outlaw": this song is for me & justin. he would sing it to me. i have a favorite phrase in this song- any guesses what it could be?

natasha bedingfield: "soulmate": n bedingfield is my #1 favorite female singer. this song is about wanting love. desperately. Is it possible that Mr. Loveable is already in my life? Right in front of me or maybe you're in disguise. he was for me, but i'm one of the lucky few. everyone has felt the pain of being single. but being able to know who we are when we're by ourselves makes us a better Mrs. Loveable for that Mr.

wham!: "wake me up before you go-go": THIS IS MY JAM! may i just say, wham! is the most misunderstood and under appreciated band of the century? sure, george michael is a freak. so was michael jackson- lots of musical genisus' are.

coldplay: "viva la vida": remember the itunes commercials to this? when chris martin does ONE action, just rockin his hand back and forth the WHOLE SONG? one time driving home from SLC with my sister shannon i did it. the whole song. which is not easy for a song that's about five minutes long.

jason mraz: "the beauty in ugly": talk about a song changing you. i never watched ugly beauty before this but have been a a mr. a-z fan since his musical conception [#1 favorite male singer]. this is prob my favorite jmraz song so that says something. the video changed how i viewed myself.

high school musical 3: "a night to remember": honestly, i love this song because of the movie. check out the link at 50 seconds and your whole mind will be blown. zac efron can move it like no other. when my bff8 bought me this dvd as a grad present, i watched that segment [and mimicked it shamelessly] a gazillion times. do it people. let yourself life.


kelly sweet: "dream on": while i know some who hate all covers [j.p.s.] i think this song could change your mind. aerosmith wrote the words, kelly brought them to life. Sing with me, sing for the year, Sing for the laugh, sing for the tears, Sing with me, if it's just for today, Maybe tomorrow, the good lord will take you away. sometimes life is meant to be lived in the moment. let go, express your soul, sing.

nelly furtado: "explode" or the whole 'folklore' album. many of nights i couldn't sleep i would put this cd in my walkman and drift away to sleep. i stole this cd from my sister devin [she never missed it- i bet her reading this will be the first time she noticed it gone]. this is my absolute #1 favorite song. ever. this song reminds me of the feeling of hs- judging others by what you perceived. Then count the stars and the ten million woes, Just you and the universe judging each other, We never knew that we'd get caught up, Stuck in the teenage waste. no matter how horrible life might be in that moment, remember We're counting the stars
We're gonna go far. this song gives me hope.

i wish i could put more. i have so many more favorites. sometimes, i think my life is played out in songs.